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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29180808">To Find Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasminakohl/pseuds/yasminakohl'>yasminakohl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, As usual my tags are a mess, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Good Loki (Marvel), Loki knows he’s adopted, M/M, Not MCU compliant, Period-Typical Homophobia, WWII era, barely Captain America compliant, decent dad Odin, eventually</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:27:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,945</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29180808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasminakohl/pseuds/yasminakohl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>To Find Love, Steve Rogers has to sock ol’ Adolph over 200 times after going through a painful science experiment and rescuing his best friend from the enemy and 400 other guys (since he was already there).</p><p>To Find Love, Loki of Asgard has to skirt a fine line of helping the Allied Forces and not pissing of his father, Odin. Well his adopted father. He had to go through heartache and a lot of mothering from his... brother. And his mom. And his dad. And the Howling Commandos. And even a bit from Howard Stark.  </p><p> </p><p>Take pity on the author, it took her nearly 26k words to tell this story. Trying to sum it up in less then 1200 is a pain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To Find Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>An FYI for those who’ve never read my stuff</p><p>I’ve never written out of chronological order before. I’m hoping I didn’t make any plot holes for myself. But don’t shoot me if I did. </p><p>This story demanded to be written out of order.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>***</p><p>Vanaheim (Earth Year 1917)</p><p>Prince Loki startled awake with a jerk. He sat up in time to watch a log  shift in the fire and to hear Volstagg let out the deepest of snores. He rolled his eyes at how ridiculously loud the man could be.</p><p>Loki shook his head as the strange dream he’d been having flooded his mind. He’d dreamt of bright blue eyes, and soft blond hair, but had woken to the heaviest of feelings settling into his chest. He laid back down on his furs and willed himself to return to the dream. </p><p>He knew it had the feel of a prophetic dream. He wondered if it continued, what it would tell him. He wondered what kind of heartache it would show him he that he might endure, again.</p><p>***</p><p>Asgard (Earth Year 1945)</p><p>Queen Frigga sat in her garden, a sense of foreboding had been growing for days now. </p><p>Thor, she knew was safe in the hall with her husband. Loki, though was helping on Midgard and this was not a very pleasant time for the young realm. They were calling it World War II, because apparently one World War hadn’t been enough. </p><p>She had pleaded with her husband to step in, and that little black mustached deviant was using their image as some sort of global ideal, after all. He was killing any he could get his hands on who did not match it. But Odin would not. He felt that the realm needed to work this out for themselves. </p><p>Loki however had not agreed. He had left as soon as he had heard what Adolf Hitler was doing to try and turn the tide. Loki hadn’t exactly gone against his father’s wishes. Odin had only decreed that he himself would not step in, and that no one could just pop in and kill or capture Hitler. So instead Loki had begun working with the Allied Forces to help them where he could. When they had last spoken, Loki had been helping a group of mostly Americans work through the land of the little niðingr.</p><p>Hours later Frigga was still trying to calm herself, but something had to be very wrong with her youngest. She summoned one of her maids to send a message to Thor. When her oldest son strode towards her a short time later, the something settled, but only a little.</p><p>“Thor, I need you to find Loki.” She grabbed both his hands squeezing tightly, “Something is very wrong. Please, find your brother.”</p><p>Thor had never seen his mother this distraught before. Loki must indeed be in grave danger, “Of course Mother, would you like me to call Father or one of your maids to sit with you?”</p><p>“No, just get to him.”</p><p>Thor kissed her forehead before bowing deeply and sprinting to the clearing were he could take off for the Bifrost without destroying his mother’s garden.</p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth Year 1944)</p><p>Steve looked across the bar. He could not keep his eyes from sliding towards a face with eyes so green they would shame the most brilliant emerald, with hair so black ink could only dream of matching its darkness. Steve shook his head, maybe he should skip trying to be a poet when the war was over and stick to what he knew, art.</p><p>“Go over there.”</p><p>Steve was jerked back to reality by the voice in his ear. He tried to keep the scowl off his face, but he knew he was loosing. “I can’t, Buck.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>Steve turned and looked at his best friend. “You know damn well why not,” he hissed.</p><p>Bucky shook his head, dropping a hand on his friends shoulder, “You’re Captain America, what are they going to say?”</p><p>Steve shook his head, “Buck, you are not usually this dense.”</p><p>“He has a point, Captain,” Farnsworth added, as he sat back and adjusted his watch. </p><p>Steve bit out, “You all know why I can’t go over there, so just drop it.”</p><p>Dum Dum set his glass down heavily, “Really Cap, just go over and talk to the Limey bastard.”</p><p>Steve’s face went red with a mix of anger and embarrassment, he really couldn't understand why they were all being so think-headed tonight. “Yes, Dum Dum, but that’s the whole problem isn’t?”</p><p>“What?” Dum Dum was suddenly very confused, “I know you don’t have a problem with British folks,” looking towards their own Brit as proof.</p><p>Steve shook his head, “It’s the bastard part that’s the problem and you all know it. So. Just. Leave. It.”</p><p>“Steve, you know we don’t care,” Buck offered quietly. </p><p>“Leave it Buck,” Steve growled from behind his mug. </p><p>Bucky sighed, “Why don’t you get to be happy Stevie?”</p><p>“Fuck you Barnes. I’m going back to the barracks. Please don’t trash the place,” with that Steve was up and out the door before anyone could stop him.</p><p>The table was subdued for a time after that, every one of them saddened by their Captain’s dilemma. He was obviously attracted to the raven beauty, but because the dangling parts were too far south, Rogers couldn’t ask the man to dance. </p><p>A round of beers was set before them with a head nod towards the man who had been vexing Rogers all night. The man in question took over the Captain’s empty seat, his long leg slipping over the back of the chair, “I thought I might owe you a round for apparently driving off your companion,” the cultured tone was noticed by all. </p><p>“Not owed, but appreciated all the same,” Jones nodded drinking half the pint down in one go.</p><p>A dark eyebrow raised at Jones before the owner said, “You drink well enough to impress my brother, and that’s saying something.”</p><p>The table all chuckled. </p><p>“Don’t worry about Steve, you didn’t drive him off, he did it to himself.”</p><p>Loki nodded, taking a deep drink of his beer as well. “I would have left if I had known I would be driving him from his compatriots.”</p><p>Barnes shook his head, “No, it’s all on the punk.”</p><p>The eyebrow shot up again, “Punk?” That was a new word for Loki and the AllSpeak.</p><p>Barnes shrugged, “It's a thing, I’m a jerk, he’s a punk.”</p><p>Loki chuckled, that sounded like something he and Thor might say about each other, “I take it you’ve known each other long.”</p><p>“Most of his scrawny life,” Barnes snorted, taking a swig of beer.</p><p>Loki choked on his beer, “You call that scrawny? I’d hate to see what you’d call my brother.”</p><p>The table laughed this time, Barnes patted the new guys arm, “He didn’t always look like that. In fact, a year ago he weighted 98lbs and was only 5’3.”</p><p>“That’s quite a growth spurt,” Loki couldn’t even imagine how painful that would have been.</p><p>“Yeah a nearly instantaneous one, Steve was part of an experiment,” Bucky shrugged, pausing for a moment, “it worked and he grew over a foot, and gained a 100lbs and lost every issue of being a sickly kid. Some of it was in the papers for weeks.”</p><p>Loki had only been on Midgard for 6 months, but instead of explaining that he offered a lie, “I must have been at the front at the time,” he might very well have been on a front, just not this one.</p><p>The table shrugged, it wasn’t like they had known about it at the time either. They’d been brought up to date when the Captain was standing next to them. </p><p> Loki drank the last of his beer, “I have a briefing in the morning, so I will say good night.”</p><p>“Wait,” Barnes said setting his glass down, “do we get a name to go with our thanks?”</p><p>Loki debated for a moment, but gave in, “Loki Odinson, and yes I know how very Nordic that sounds.”</p><p>“Get that a lot I take it?” Dum Dum asked downing the rest of his pint.</p><p>“You would be surprised, good night gentlemen.”</p><p>“Wasn’t Loki the name of their trickiest god?” Jones asked.</p><p>From the doorway came the answer in that same posh tone, “Yes!”</p><p>***</p><p>Steve stripped out of his uniform and laid on his bed. His stomach was a twisted acidic knot of hate; the self-hatred kind.  Why couldn’t he just be like the other guys? Why couldn’t he find Peggy dreamy, or that Loraine? She was nice looking, right? She even seemed to be good at kissing, not that Steve knew much about that. </p><p>Instead he had to be twisted up over some suit. He rolled over to pound his pillow into submission. When he eventually heard the door to his room open, he growled. “Go the fuck away Barnes, I am not in the mood.”</p><p>Bucky sighed, Steve looked absolutely miserable, “Why do you only call me Barnes when you’re sore at me?”</p><p>“Because I’m not calling you James Buchanan,” Steve grouched from under the covers.</p><p>“All right, ya got me there.”</p><p>“Just go back to the bar, Buck, get lucky with some dame.”</p><p>Bucky just sighed,  “You could have gotten lucky with that gent.”</p><p>Steve bolted up right and snapped, “NO, I COULDN’T AND YOU KNOW IT,” then with a growl he asked, “don’t you guys think I want to meet someone, don’t you think I want someone to come back to, someone to think about when the nights are fucking cold and bitter?”</p><p>“Steve, none of us are going to rat you out. You think we wouldn’t do everything we can to help you out if you found someone?”</p><p>Steve sighed, completely defeated, “I can’t, and it’s not just about you guys keeping it a secret.”</p><p>“Then what is it?” Bucky shrugged.</p><p>He tried to pour every once of his frustration and what he thought might be bordering on despair into his words, “It’s the fact that it would have to be a secret. I could never walk around with him the way you could with all your girls back home. I could never get down on one knee with a nice ring, could have never  taken him home and introduced him to Ma. Because there is one big problem with everything I just said, him.”</p><p>Bucky sat down on Steve’s bed and pulled his best friend into a hug, “I’m sorry Stevie. I wish I could make the world better for you. I wish it wasn’t so stupid and blind.” Bucky was never going to care that his best friend was more apt to look at him than any girl he brought over. It just wasn’t his way.</p><p>Steve held on to Bucky, to the only person in this world he could touch like this, even if it was only for a few seconds. He fought the lump in his throat, he managed to not cry but it was so very close. “I stopped dreaming that dream years ago, Buck.”</p><p>***</p><p>Morning came and Steve was wrung out, he hadn’t slept more than thirty minutes at a time last night. Every time green eyes or pale skin or ink black hair would show up in his dreams, he’d wake up in a cold sweat. The serum took care of a lot of health related issues but it didn’t really help his mind at times like this. </p><p>Steve showered, dressed and went to the Mess Hall on autopilot. He gathered up food and coffee without even knowing what he was picking up. He sat in the far corner and methodically ate bite after bite. Neither the flavors or textures ever registered with his brain.</p><p>“Is this seat taken?”</p><p>Steve didn’t look up, just shrugged and said, “Nope.”</p><p>“I met your lovely group of men last night.”</p><p>Steve’s head snapped up, causing him to look into the deep green eyes again. This close, he could see the golden flecks mixed with in that green, the unholy hue of the green making Steve want too shiver.</p><p>“Cat got your tongue?”</p><p>Steve shook his head, “No,” he choked back the ‘Sir’ that wanted to pop out. “I hope they didn’t cause any you trouble after I left.”</p><p>“Not at all, I wanted to apologize for apparently sending their compatriot off.”</p><p>Keeping his voice even, he hoped, “I was a little tired, thought I’d turn in early.”</p><p>“Captain, perhaps you should work on your lying, you’re ghastly at it. Your eyes tell it all. You’ve barely slept, and I am at fault for it.” Loki leaned in closer to the young man, “I’m sorry you didn’t sleep because of me, I’m even more sorry I wasn’t there to be the cause your restlessness in a much more pleasant way.”</p><p>Steve felt his face flush scarlet red. </p><p>“Well, that is a nice look, pity I won’t get to enjoy it any longer, I see I’m about to be late, good day Captain.”</p><p>“Who are you?” Steve asked, half to himself, half to the wind.</p><p>The wind answered, “Loki Odinson.”</p><p>***</p><p>For days Steve kept running into Mr. Odinson; at his morning briefings, black hair shifting with the artificial breeze of the fans, at his strategy meetings, pale fingers fondling map pieces suggestively, at the Mess Hall green eyes following his fork. </p><p>It had been two weeks since the Commandos had last gone out on a mission and Steve was sure if they didn’t get sent out soon he was going to lose his mind. Or end up with jail time and a blue discharge. Because if he was tortured for one more day by the soft scent of fresh snow and oiled leather he was going to pin the man to the nearest hard surface and kiss him blind.</p><p>He was in the home stretch to his barracks room, but suddenly there was that scent of snow and leather in his way, and black hair draped artfully over one eye, the remaining green eye glisten surrounded by ice pale skin.</p><p>“Mr. Odinson.”</p><p>Loki kept the smirk from his face when he said, “My, Captain, you sound a little tense.”</p><p>Steve managed to keep his tone civil when he asked, “Why are you here? Civilians aren’t allowed in the military barracks.”</p><p>Loki had spent the last week and half watching Captain Rogers not watch him. He had seen the way the Captain followed his hands, his lips, even how his hair flopped.</p><p>“I am not exactly a civilian, Captain. My room is just over there,” Loki pointed to the room he had been assigned.</p><p>“If you say so,” Steve knew he was being abrupt but it was the only defense he had against the man.</p><p>Loki could see the war behind the Captain’s eyes. He very much wanted Loki but in this realm, at this time what he wanted was very dangerous. “I was hoping we could have a drink and discuss some of your abilities,” Loki saw the anger flare behind the longing and despair. “Captain, I am not here to copy your patron’s work. I ask only so that I may better plan missions. I have already spoken to your men regarding their talents. Sargent Barnes’s talents with his rifle are nearly unparalleled. And what Dernier can do with an explosive is pure art.”</p><p>Steve could feel his resolve melting, he loved to hear his men praised. As far as he was concerned, they never got enough.</p><p>Loki saw the resolve lessen, so he pressed the point, “I just want to ensure their safety. The more I know the better I can plan.”</p><p>Steve sighed, “Where would you like to talk?”</p><p>“Where ever you are most comfortable, I have noticed that I upset you in some way.”</p><p>Steve’s face flashed red. “You don’t upset me Mr. Odinson.”</p><p>“Loki, please.”</p><p>Steve tried again, “You don’t upset me Loki.”</p><p>“But I don’t make you comfortable either.”</p><p>Steve didn’t respond to the statement, instead he offered, “The Stork Club all right?”</p><p>“If it’s where you want, yes.”</p><p>Steve nodded, turning on his heel he headed back down the hall.</p><p>Loki wasn’t sure why he needed the Captain to like him, but something about the man called to him. He followed quietly behind the solider then sat across from him at the small table.</p><p>“What do you want to know?”</p><p>“What are you willing to tell me?” Loki listened to the statistics Steve rattled off: speed, jump height and distance, force of a punch and the toss of his shield, how far he can throw the shield, a grenade and other items. As well as how fast he healed, an estimation of how long he can go without food and water. Trying to move away from that morbid bit of information Loki asked, “Sight, hearing?”</p><p>“I have 20/10 vision. My hearing is clearer, but the its still with in the same ranges of the average person.”</p><p>Loki nodded, everything the Captain had mentioned was listed in the file he had been given, but it was always better to verify these things.</p><p>Steve tipped his chin up to let Loki know their server was coming with their drinks. He returned her smile with a polite but simple, “Thank you.”</p><p>Loki knew the look in the bar maids eyes, it was one he’d been on the receiving end of more than once, and at certain times, he’d been known to give as well. He could also see Steve wasn’t interested in the slightest. He was not surprised. Barnes had been more than willing to slip a hint or twenty into their conversation about how ‘Stevie likes dark hair, and pale skin and maybe has a thing for green eyes’. Watching the raven haired girl walk away, with a little extra swing, was very enlightening. Loki now knew exactly why he bothered the Captain so much.</p><p>He just had to figure out what to do about it.</p><p>The night passed pleasantly, the pair broadening their list of topics of conversations little by little. Loki even managed to pull a small chuckle from the man. Curfew was called and the pair walked back to the barracks on much better terms then they had left them.</p><p>A few days later Loki asked Steve too lunch and was given a small shrug, the Captain followed Loki to a small shop a few doors from the Stork Club. </p><p>Loki knew this particular shop would be safe for the conversation he hoped to have. He’d already bedded the lovely boy who worked the counter. Loki directed the Captain towards the booth in the back. </p><p>“Lee,” Loki called out, “two with everything?”</p><p>“Sure Mr. Loki.”</p><p>“Mr. Loki?” Steve asked.</p><p>Loki shrugged, Lee was a bit more submissive than he preferred his partners but it had still been a lovely night. And because the boy was so submissive, it was unlikely he would make a scene about Loki making a play for the good Captain.</p><p>“So what did you just order me?” Steve asked, a hint of resignation coloring his tone.</p><p>Loki shrugged, it wasn’t his usual fare, but it was filling, “The largest sandwich you’ve seen since rationing started.” Again the Captain didn’t respond, Loki watched him very carefully set his hands on the table and spread out his fingers before moving them back together again. “Was it hard adjusting?”</p><p>Steve shrugged, “I don’t know if anyones told you, there was a Hydra attack just a few minutes after I stepped out of the chamber. Dr. Erskien was killed along with two guards and the agent on the door. I took off after the Hydra agent, ended up running into a bridal shop window,” Steve blushed and shrugged again, “well actually I ended up running through a bridal shop window, then managed to jump a 6 foot fence. Ran along the tops of a few cars to reach the one the agent had stolen and rip a door off it’s hinges.” </p><p>Two eyebrows were raised, the long Steve explained the higher they went, “Impressive.”</p><p>“He grabbed up a small boy and used him as cover to get away, I managed to catch up to him again, captured him but he had a cyanide capsule in his tooth,” Steve tapped his lip.</p><p>Loki nodded in understanding, he’d met more than one of these fanatic during his time on Midgard, who had used such means to avoid questioning.</p><p>Steve continued his story, “Then they shoved me on stage. I had to learn how to pick the girls up and not hurt them, how to lift the motorcycle and not dent it, how not to hit Josh in the face.”</p><p>“Josh?” Loki was struck suddenly by a wave of jealousy.</p><p>“He played Hitler each night. I was supposed to punch him,” Steve pitched his voice more like he had each night, “so who’s gonna help me sock ol’ Adolf on the jaw.”</p><p>Loki smirked at the horrible attempt at acting. </p><p>“I was awful.”</p><p>Loki assured him, “You were fine.”</p><p>“You know, I’ve read some on the Norse Myths.” Steve looked at Loki, a possibly knowing look, “One of Loki’s name was Silvertongue or Liesmith.”</p><p>It was Loki’s turn to shrug and deflected, “I’ve heard that before,” from the lips of his mother, his father, his brother, his cousins, in truth he wasn’t sure there was a person on Asgard who hadn’t called him one of those names at least once. Or any of the other dozen or so insulting monikers he’d been gifted over the years. The only name he’d ever appreciated was Keeper of Children. At times like this he missed Slephnir greatly, but he made sure the AllFather treated his grandson well, and Slephnir did love his life. It was one of the few things Odin had done right by him.</p><p>“I didn’t mean it as an insult,” Steve says after a moment.</p><p>Loki shook his head and returned to the present. “I know you didn’t, I was just lost in a thought.” For some reason Loki had the urge to tell the Captain about his son. He doubted that would go over well. </p><p>“If you’re sure?”</p><p>“I am,” Loki assured him, then he spotted Lee coming out with two plates.</p><p>Steve was surprised at the size of the sandwich set down in front of him. Rationing generally kept portions much smaller. Lee smiled and hurried back a moment later with two cups of coffee.</p><p>Loki frowned at the dark brown brew, with a quick flick and a silent word, his coffee changed to tea but remained the dark coloring of coffee. </p><p>Steve had looked up under his eyelashes in time to see Loki make some sort of move with his hand and then the smell of the coffee changed. It became a light sweet tea, but the color was still dark as his own coffee. He dropped his gaze quickly and took a bite of his sandwich. What had he just seen?</p><p>Loki saw the frown on the Captain’s lips and suddenly he worried he’d been caught out.</p><p>Steve cleared his throat, “So what exactly do you consult on?”</p><p>‘Damn,’ Loki thought to himself. Not how he wanted this conversation to go. “A great many things, I have skills in battle planning as you’ve seen, I’m versed in a multitude of weapons. I have diplomatic skills, I have studied the… occult, we’ll say, so Hydra’s more mystical applications are not beyond me.”</p><p>“You’re what, a wizard?”</p><p>Loki laughed. “No, I am not a wizard.”</p><p>Steve’s stomach clenched at the sound of Loki’s laugh, he was happy when his voice sounded normal, “Well, you’re not exactly an average Joe either.”</p><p>Swallowing his tea, Loki to a moment, “The word you're searching for is Mage.”</p><p>“So you’re a mage. What does that mean?”</p><p>Trying to be evasive Loki said, “A great many things.”</p><p>“I told you what I can do,” Steve pushed.</p><p>“You did, and I am not saying I won’t. But my skills in that area are not for this public. I will tell you, but not here.”</p><p>Steve nodded, “So what tea is that?”</p><p>Loki shook his head, he had been found out. “It is a blend I favor from India.”</p><p>“Smells nice.”</p><p>Loki let the glamor drop showing soft tan tea. “I have never been fond of coffee, I find too bitter.”</p><p>Steve nodded, he hadn’t really ever liked it either, before he couldn’t really drink it, it always made his heart race too fast. </p><p>“Would you like to try some?”</p><p>Steve shrugged, it did smell much better than the burnt coffee. “Sure, if it won’t hurt you to change it.”</p><p>“No, this will take no energy at all. Making it from nothing, that would take a bit,” Loki waved his hand a little more dramatically than he needed and whispered loud enough for Steve to hear his voice but not the word spoken.</p><p>Steve picked up his cup and took a deep breath, breathing in the warm slightly sweet light earthy smell. He took a small sip and hummed in pleasure. It was sweet but that didn’t over power the flavor, “Thank you.”</p><p>“My pleasure.”</p><p>The pair then ate quietly as two more people had come in the shop. Loki was slightly annoyed, he’d picked the shop because few people ever came to it. But now that the Captain wanted to talk about his seiðr, he could use that and he did know of a suitable place to demonstrate some of those skills. </p><p>***</p><p>After lunch Loki walked them to a shell of a building that had been hit in one of the first bombings, “Have a seat,” Loki conjured a chair and set it down in front of the Captain.  </p><p>Steve blinked. It was a thick hardy wooden chair, the kind that would last for generations.</p><p>“My brother prefers one of a similar design. He has a few inches and several stones on you, so he prefers to have something a bit stout.”</p><p>Steve swallowed at the proof that Loki was something else, “Thank you.”</p><p>“So Captain, what would you like to know?”</p><p>It seemed too vast a question to even know where to begin. “How did you learn to do any of it?”</p><p>“My mother taught me,” Loki explained. “I am adopted,” a moment later, he admitted slowly, “my father and brother are more about brute strength, something,” Loki looked down while gesturing to his lithe frame, “I have never had. She hoped it would balance things.”</p><p>“Did it?”  Steve asked, he could guess already it didn’t. The tone Loki had used let on.</p><p>“No, she over looked one small cultural issue.”</p><p>Loki didn’t continue, forcing Steves curiosity, “What’s that?”</p><p>“Magic is a woman’s talent. That I have any ability for it,” Loki shrugged, “didn’t balance the scales, nor does my choice of weapons.” Loki pulled his daggers from his sleeves and flung four of them one after another, one on each side of the Captain’s feet.</p><p>“Oh holy, wow.”</p><p>“Knives are for women and assassins, I supposedly am neither.”</p><p>“Supposedly?” This man was confusing and Steve wasn’t sure if  he liked it or loved it.</p><p>Loki let a small smirk slip, the soft one he used with small children and frightened animals, “I have magic, I prefer knives, I can cook quiet well, and I prefer my partners be tall, blond, and well built in the,” Loki paused to see the Captain’s reaction to his words so far, when his eyes darted up to Loki’s, his smile changed to add a touch of wickedness, then he continued, “in the shoulders. I like something to be able to hold on to at just that right moment.”</p><p>He watched the Captain flush and swallow. “Is that so?”</p><p>“It is, so you see why my father and brother tend to think of me in a less than masculine light.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t think that,” Steve all but whispered.</p><p>“But then you wouldn’t would you,” Loki sauntered the few steps left between him and the Captain, “because then you would be less than masculine, and you are definitely masculine.”</p><p>Steve let out a small half chuckle, “I didn’t always look like this, remember?” Steve reached up and slid his hand along Loki’s arm to the hand where it lay on his shoulder, “I use to be much smaller.”</p><p>“That’s right,” Loki hadn’t actually forgotten that, he had just misplaced the information for a moment. “Either way, I’m sure you did not show any feminine notions.”</p><p>Steve could hardly breath, he slipped his hand back down Loki’s arm to his hand, the skin was soft and delicate, it seemed far too delicate to wield the wicked looking knives still at his feet. But he knew better than to think the man was fragile. When Steve could speak again he explained, “I tried not to give off notions of any kind, it was safer that way.”</p><p>“Is it safe now?” Loki dared to ask.</p><p>Steve stood up, there was no way he was going to have the kind of awkward kiss Loki standing would have provided.  “It was safe enough for you to show me some of your secret.”</p><p>“It was at that,” Loki smiled. </p><p>“Might be safe enough for us to show each a shared secret?”</p><p>Loki let his other hand move up Steve’s arm to the back of his neck, stepping in to his space, he whispered, “I’m sure it’s safe.”</p><p>Steve leaned in the last little bit just before his lips met Loki’s, he said, “I’m not sure you’re safe.”</p><p>“I know I’m not,” Loki melted into Steve’s arms. The kiss was light and sweet with a hint of strength mixed in. The adopted mage didn’t think he'd ever been kissed like this, not in all his years. He was only slightly surprised when he felt cold stone on his back as Steve’s weight pressed against him. It felt like how the Christians might describe their heaven.</p><p>Steve couldn’t believe he was kissing the mage. Loki tasted like a New York winter felt; cool, crisp and with enough bite to keep you on your toes. Even though Steve looked like he had a solid 50 pounds on Loki, pressed up against him Steve now knew Loki was rock solid muscle and that made Steve want him even more.</p><p>Loki pulled away enough to breathe and speak, “Whatever it is you’re thinking, yes.”</p><p>“I want so many things I don’t know where to start, but I don’t really want any of them in a bombed out factory.”</p><p>Loki laughed, “No, I suppose for a first time this is not very romantic.”</p><p>Steve went still, was he that obvious?</p><p>Loki felt Steve jerk and wondered what had caused it, then his words played back to him. “I meant our first time, but I suddenly think it must be more than that.” Steve tipped his head in a sort of nod. “Then this is most defiantly not the place.” Loki kissed Steve deeply, until neither of them could breathe again, “My room has a very nice bed.”</p><p>Steve could only nod but the next thing he knew he was being pushed up against a wooden door. He was startled to find he didn’t remember a single moment of the walk to the barracks. The only thing he could think of was Loki had moved them.  “Did you, uh I don’t know…?” He was a little disoriented.</p><p>“Did I teleport us to my room?”</p><p>“Yeah that,” Steve grabbed onto the word.</p><p>“In a way,” Loki had moved them to his room, but only because it was at the end of a large root from Yggdrasil. </p><p>“Oh boy,” he had no idea why he found that so arousing.  It should have terrified him, but so should the Rebirth chamber.</p><p>“I can do more than that,” Loki whispered, “look down.”</p><p>Steve looked down and found he was standing in only his boxers. He could see his clothes stacked on the chair near the bed. “How smart are you?” Loki had to be a genius to be able to think of all those things at once. </p><p>Look leaned back, his face showing his confusion.</p><p>Steve wasn’t sure why  Loki couldn’t see his own brilliance, so he laid it out, “You brought us back to your room, not just near by, but exactly to your room, while kissing me, undressed me and folded up all my clothes and set them on a chair, behind you without missing, while kissing me.”</p><p>“You said, ‘while you were kissing me’ twice, I take it you found the kiss to be noteworthy.”</p><p>Steve smile was shy but bright, “It deserves a Shakespearean sonnet.”</p><p>“Keep using words like that, and you’ll be stealing the title of Silvertongue for yourself.”</p><p>“Not sure how smart it is to steal a god’s nickname,” he shivered at the thought of meeting the real Loki, some of the tales had been a bit gruesome.</p><p>“Oh he might let you have it, if he got a kiss like the last one you gave me.” Loki realized the dangerous game he was playing, but Norns be damned if he would give it up.</p><p>“Let me see if we can do even better,” Steve whispered before kissing him again. </p><p>Loki shivered as he dropped his clothes, pressing his chest to the broad one before him. Norns, did it feel good. He hadn’t realized how skin hungry he’d become until a feast had been laid before him. Slowly he let the good Captain walk them to his bed. Once there, they tangled themselves up. Loki couldn't remember the last time he’d kissed someone this much. </p><p>Steve’s head was swimming. It all felt so good. He’d  been kissed by a couple guys back before the serum, when they thought maybe they could muscle him around. One guy had even gotten bold enough to pin Steve against the alley wall and suck his cock until he came. None of that could compete with what he was feeling with Loki. He hadn't realized until he was looking down at Loki and felt legs wrapped around his waist, he had rolled them from their sides so Loki being on his back. Steve swallowed and asked hesitantly, “Is this okay?”</p><p>“More than, this is glorious,” Loki sighed, the weight pressing him down was sublime. It’d been centuries since he’d taken a male lover who was larger than him. More often than not he slept with men who were like Lee.</p><p>Steve wished he had any sort of knowledge of what to do next, he’d never been with anyone like this. He was relieved when Loki’s hand flicked again and a small jar appeared. Loki sat up just a bit, opening the jar, “You need to-”</p><p>“OH!” Steve’s face was red but he got the idea quick enough, carefully he dipped his fingers in the oil and looked down. Loki’s cock was the most beautiful sight Steve had ever seen. It was long and thick, Steve remembered that night in the alley and suddenly wanted nothing more than to see if Loki’s cock tasted as good as that had felt. He shifted back before he could rethink anything and licked from base to tip.</p><p>Loki had laid back on the bed, so he let out a small yelp when the warm wet tongue drew up his cock, he moaned when the wet heat wrapped around the head. Then a skin warmed oil coated finger pressed into him and he pressed his head into the pillow to keep from thrashing, “More.”</p><p>Steve pulled off to asked more what and he heard Loki whimper.</p><p>“More oil, more everything,” Loki answered knowing Steve didn’t understand yet.</p><p>Steve hurriedly added more oil since that seemed much more important for safety and probably pleasure. The little sound Loki let loose made him hum in satisfaction. That made Loki repeat the sound. Steve kept it up, feeling Loki’s body giving in, feeling it open for him. He didn’t stop until Loki took four fingers, and the multiple more’s moaned became nothing but gasps.</p><p>“Loki, please, tell me it’s enough.” Steve’s voice was gravely and so deep Loki had to blink to clear his mind enough to ensure someone else hadn’t suddenly shown up. Instead of answering Loki pulled Steve down for a brutal kiss and rewrapped his legs around that ridiculously wasp like waist. Steve worked a hand between them, taking a hold of his own aching cock and slowly pressing into Loki. He had to break the kiss to concentrate, to not come at the feeling of being with someone for the first time. To give them both a chance, Steve was slow and careful. He did understand a man’s body wasn’t exactly deigned for this, no matter how much they wanted or needed it.   </p><p>“Steve, if you value continued life, I would suggest you move, now,” Loki growled out.</p><p>Instead he groaned, and ground into Loki a little harder, “I am try hard not to make this very short and little bitter.”</p><p>Loki clenched around the cock filling him in a way he had only dreamed of before. “We can always find out how well that serum of yours works,” Loki wanted to beg, but he managed  keep the words behind his teeth.</p><p>Steve smiled giving into the joke only he’d understand, “Should we see if I can do *this* all night?”</p><p>Indeed missing the joke Loki answered, “We really should,” before he pulled Steve into another kiss. </p><p>They spent hours together and Steve found a sight he thought was even more beautiful than Loki’s cock, Loki coming just from *Steve’s* cock.</p><p>It was somewhere near midnight when they fell into an exhausted sleep. Loki used the last of his energy to clean them up and cover them with a blanket.</p><p>*****</p><p>When the pair woke an hour before dawn Loki kissed Steve soundly before checking the hall to verify it was safe for the solider to go back to his room to shower and change.</p><p>Steve was just stepping out of his room to head to PT when an aide knocked on Loki’s door. “Mr. Odinson? Colonel Phillips needs to see you.”</p><p>Steve cocked his head, “Is there a problem?”</p><p>The aide turned to Steve, “Captain Rogers, no nothings wrong. The Colonel just wants to see Mr. Odinson about some new intel, sir.”</p><p>Loki opened his door, water running down his bare hairless chest as he wiped shaving cream from his face, “Yes?”</p><p>“Colonel Phillips, sir he has some fresh intel for you,” the young man stammered.</p><p>Loki nodded, “Thank you, I’ll be there as soon as I finish dressing. Unless of course you think this is acceptable, Lieutenant?”</p><p>The lieutenant blushed but kept his eyes fixed on the wall to the right of Loki’s shoulder, “No, sir. I’m sure there is enough time for you to dress.”</p><p>“Very well, run along, I’ll be five minutes.”</p><p>“Of course sir,” the lieutenant almost stumbled in his hurry to get out of the hall way.</p><p>After the coast was clear Loki laughed, the damp chest disappeared and Loki stood fully dressed with a rakish smile. “You look amazing this morning, Ástvinur. I’d say being well fucked suits you.” Loki watched the light fade a bit, he stepped forward, but stopped when Steve almost moved away. “What did I say?” </p><p>“Could you not be so crass?” </p><p>Loki took the other step towards the blond, reaching out he ran his hand along Steve’s cheek. “I’m sorry, Ástvinur. I won’t.”</p><p>Steve shook his head, then shrugged, “No, I know it’s stupid.”</p><p>Loki heard the disappointment in his lover’s voice, Steve was a romantic, Loki knew that for certain now, “No, I shouldn’t have been so dismissive.”</p><p>Steve tried to let the topic go, he said,“You had better head over to the Colonel’s office.”</p><p>“I will when you tell me I’m forgiven,” Loki said, with complete honesty. This man made him want to do and say all kinds of things he would never otherwise think of.</p><p>“It’s fine, you’re forgiven.”</p><p>Loki checked around for a moment before he kissed Steve once more, “I’ll see you soon, Ástvinur.”</p><p>Loki moved to walk away but before he could Steve grabbed his hand, “What does it mean?” He asked softly.</p><p>“Darling, it means darling,” Loki answered as softly. Then Steve’s hand was empty.   </p><p>He stood there for a moment until Bucky was standing in front of him snapping his fingers in his face. </p><p>“You in there, punk?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m here, sorry,” Steve shook his head to clear it.</p><p>“You’re here now, but where were you?”</p><p>“No, I was here.”</p><p>“Stevie, how dumb do I look?”</p><p>Steve just shook his head, ignoring the chance to insult his best friend, he turned to walk down the hall to the PT field. But the sound of Bucky’s smug voice stopped him before he took two steps, “You got some.”</p><p>“Got some what?” Steve turned back and found his best friend lounging against Loki’s doorframe. </p><p>Bucky tipped his head until it almost touched the door, “See the funny thing is, since you sprung me from Schmidt, I’ve noticed a few things. And I think you’ve noticed them too. One of the things I’ve noticed is I can smell where you’ve been. And you spent a lot of time in this room, very recently.”</p><p>Steve’s face blushed.</p><p>“So how was it? Everything you hoped?”</p><p>“Are you seriously asking me to kiss and tell?” Steve shook his head, he’d heard the guys do this enough times. But now that the shoe was on his foot, he couldn’t make himself give any details.</p><p>Bucky grinned but shook his head no, “Not really, so long as you tell me are happy.”</p><p>“I am as happy as I can be,” was the best Steve could do. Yes, he’d found someone, maybe, but he still couldn’t shout it from a rooftop.</p><p>Bucky frowned as he pulled himself upright from the door, “The world will get there, Stevie.”</p><p>“When Buck? How long do I have to wait to be able to say I like him, let alone anything else? Just,” Steve took a deep breath, “just let it go, I guess I’ll take what I can get for now. He could be transferred tomorrow, I could die on our next mission. This will have to be enough.”  </p><p>“I’m sure we’ll see it eventually.”</p><p>“I hope so.”</p><p>Bucky flung his arm over Steve’s shoulder, “PT’s canceled, nasty rain storm headed this way. Let’s get you some chow and you cannot tell me about your night.”</p><p>“Jerk.”</p><p>“Punk.”</p><p>***</p><p>“Something on your mind?” The Colonel’s voice was gruff as always, but today it seemed to have a bit more of a bite to it.</p><p>Loki looked over the plans and he didn’t like what he was seeing. The raid was likely to get someone killed, several someones most likley. He’d heard the reports of the strange weapons that HYDRA had been known to use. The blue light that left nothing of its victim behind save a few scraps of charred fabric and if one was lucky, a carbonized bone fragment. He had considered more than once, investigating these weapons on his own, but he had refrained. He had been trying to not interfere too much, as his father had demanded. Now he was certain that had been a mistake.</p><p>“The risks far out weight the possible gain. You want to send your most highly trained team into this,” Loki waived his hand over the map, a badly marked out map, something that told Loki too much was missing.  He shook his head, “It’s a suicide run.”</p><p>“I doubt that.”</p><p>Loki put his full strength into the glare he leveled on the mortal. “I do not. I will not sign off on this. You will send them anyway and they will die.” Loki spun on his heel, to walk away, his next words surprised him, “I am going with them.”</p><p>“That I can’t authorize,” Phillips crossed his arms over his chest.</p><p>“Colonel Phillips, you are under the mistake impression, that I answer to you in any way. I will remind you, I do not. There is no one on the planet I answer to. I will go where I want, when I want. I will go with them and I will ensure their return,” with that Loki was out the door.</p><p>Phillips let his arms drop and the smile spread, that was easier than he’d expected. Who knew manipulating a mage, who apparently wasn’t even from Earth, would be that easy.</p><p>***</p><p>Steve smelt something before he saw Loki storm in to the Mess. The leather and snow that always surrounded the man was saturated with molten steal. Steve shook his head, how did he even know what that smelled like? He supposed he could figure it out from the factory and the lab where he rescued the Commandos. </p><p>Loki stood in the doorway, his eyes closed and fists clenched as he took a deep breath. The little fífl could manipulate him all he wanted. He wasn’t blind, he knew what the Colonel had been doing. Didn’t mean he had to like it one bit. Pulling up a calmness that wasn’t real, Loki walked to the coffee urns. Fortunately there were enough people who preferred tea, there was an urn of hot water. Picking a tea that was close to what he drank he went through the motions of making it. He knew Steve was sitting in the corner with Barnes. He was trying not to see the concern in the blue eyes. Loki walked towards the pair, “Morning.”</p><p>Steve doubted he could say anything without giving himself away, so instead he nodded.</p><p>Bucky saw the tension in the shoulders of both men, but mostly in the dark haired man. He gave in and asked, “Sir?” </p><p>“Barnes.”</p><p>Bucky decided to push the stranger, “You all right? You seem upset.”</p><p>Loki nodded once, “Phillips has a mission for you, I’ll be going with you.”</p><p>Steve stared at Loki, his eyes wide. He already hated the idea. He knew Loki could handle himself, had to have been able to handle himself to get where he was today. But he was not remotely comfortable with the idea of his lover going with them. He barely could stand putting any of his men in harm’s way, let alone Bucky. Even before he’d spoken to Loki he would have had a hard time doing it, but now…</p><p>Barnes saw the worry in Steve’s eyes, and he could tell only part of it was for him and the Commandos. So after a few ‘dates’ and one night of sex, Steve Rogers in deep for the strategist.</p><p>Loki stirred the tea letting the motion sooth him until he was calm and not just pretending. “The Colonel has been given information about a Hydra camp, however there is limited information. And what information there is,” Loki sighed, “is…” he trailed off. There were no words in any of the languages he knew for how inept and useless that information had been.</p><p>“That bad huh?” Bucky offered.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Any way of talking the old man out of it,” Bucky shrugged, “never mind, if there was you would have. Suppose this will give you a first hand look at what we can do.”</p><p>“I suppose it will. Not how I would prefer to see your skills.” The last part, Loki mostly muttered to himself, but both men could hear him.</p><p>“Where and when?” Steve asked pushing away the dread he could feel rolling off of Loki.</p><p>Loki looked into eyes so blue they would rival a clear morning sky on Asgard. “A day’s drive followed by a bit of a walk. And as soon as you can get geared up and rested.”</p><p>Steve nodded, “Special requirements?”</p><p>“Fifteen extra sets of eyes.” Loki shook his head, “I do not like this, the information is too thin, nothing can be verified. It is more smoke and mist than anything.”</p><p>Steve’s face turned grim, he had no problem walking into the unknown on his own. Had done it twice in the last year, but this time seemed much worse. </p><p>Loki knew what his lover was thinking, he was feeling it himself. He wanted nothing more than to whisk them all away to safety. Maybe he should give into the lies told about him and assassinate the vile creature. He thought for a moment, he supposed it would have to be at least two assasinations; Hitler and Schmidt. But leaders like that always have devout followers. It would be a never ending fight to kill them all.</p><p>Loki shook his head, “I want to walk the last five or so miles, I don’t want to give them any warning. There is too little known.”</p><p>Steve and Bucky with a glance to each other nodded. Steve was about to ask something when the rest of the Commandos came traipsing in. Seeing their captain and sergeant they headed straight for the pair. </p><p>Dumdum took note of the dark haired man they all knew their Captain was hung up on. There was an air about them both that told Dumdum what he needed to know. Jones saw it as well and nudged Denier. Denier glared for a moment then caught the pointed look to their leader. He nodded and smiled when he caught on. Farnsworth shook his head at the trio as he heard a snort from Morita. </p><p>Steve saw his group and shook his head. They were an absolute menace to any society. “We’re heading out tomorrow.”</p><p>That drew the Commandos up short before shrugging it off and sitting down around the men.</p><p>“About time, we’ve been sittin’ on our asses for too long.”</p><p>Steve nodded at Dumdum, “Time to get back clearing up HYDRA.”</p><p>The day passed in a blur, everyone dashing around camp gathering supplies and what little intel they could pull from Phillips and his assistant. None of them came away feeling  reassured.</p><p>The men took time to eat together late in the day, the pub manager sighing in relief that the Commandos and their hallow legs would be moving on even just for a few days. Steve walked back to his room with Loki, Bucky hung back with the guys for one more round. The looks that followed the pair were understanding. </p><p>Loki pushed Steve into his room, closing the door and locking it with a thought and a flick of a few fingers. He continued to push the captain to his bed, crawling up the man when they tumbled onto it. “Pardon my crassness, but I’m about to ride you until we both scream. Until we test the soundproofing spell I’ve placed on this room.”</p><p>Steve was blushing hard at Loki’s words, they didn’t bother him as much as this mornings words had, then he groaned and pulled Loki back down to kiss him. “Not hearing anything I can’t live with.”</p><p>Loki let the smile bloom over his face, “Good.” </p><p>Steve felt a chill when his clothes were suddenly gone, but the warm skin under his fingers distracted him. As much time as he had spent touching Loki last night he hadn’t had the mind to look and feel it. He ran his hands up the tightly coiled muscles wrapped around the ribs of the man straddling him. He counted them, realizing Loki only had 10. He wanted to ask but was worried that it would distract the mage from what he was doing. The slow dragging grind he was doing was driving Steve mad. “Loki, you are killing me.”</p><p>“I can if you like, the French do call it-”</p><p>Steve interrupted, “Le petite mort.”</p><p>“Mmm, I do love a man who speaks in tongues.”</p><p>Steve started speaking to Loki in various languages, a few words in French before switching to Italian, to Spanish, even German and Russian. </p><p>Despite growing up with the AllSpeak, Loki was a true polyglot, learning many languages without it. Knowing the man beneath him knew a few words from at least five languages was as much a turn on as the blue eyes devouring him.</p><p>Loki answered him in Asgardian, Dwarvish, Elvish, and for reasons Loki couldn’t understand he told Steve how much he already cared for the man, in Jötunn.</p><p>What ever Loki said just before sliding down Steve’s cock had Loki’s heart rate skyrocketing and a flash of worry tore through Steve. But he didn’t have a chance to ask why because Loki leaned forward and began kissing him viciously. His lips would be swollen for some time due to that kiss. Steve let it go on for a moment before he rolled them over and pinned Loki to the bed using his strength in a way he never would have with anyone else. Somehow he knew Loki could take it, more than likely Loki could take Steve if he wanted to, even without magic. </p><p>Loki sighed at the tables being turned, he relished the strength, and he was certain he would be relishing the stamina very quickly. He ran his hands up the arms containing all that strength and shivered. It was not lost on Loki that Steve was an ideal Asgardian representation. </p><p>Steve put his hands above Loki’s shoulders on either side of his head, holding him in place. Each thrust had pushed the mage further up the bed and away from Steve’s cock.</p><p>Loki groaned at the caged feeling. So many centuries without this, without this feeling of being able to let go.</p><p>Steve watched Loki’s face go soft, the angles blurring, the pale skin tinting the slightest bit blue. Steve’s eye grew in surprise at the coolness that surrounded him. He reached down and ran a hand over Loki’s face, Loki turning towards it and nuzzling into his warm palm. Steve heard his name on lips turning darker by the second. He brushed his thumb over them, shivering. More than once, he had likened Loki to a winter’s day, now before his eyes he was becoming winter incarnate. </p><p>He wanted to stop and ask Loki what was happening, but at the same time he thought that would be the worst thing possible. He knew Loki wasn’t like him, and that his brother and father treated him differently, mentioning the difference now could end what ever this was working up to being. Instead he leaned down and kissed those cool dark lips.  </p><p>Loki writhed under the heat Steve was driving into him, a glorious heat that he hadn’t felt since the first time he’d lain with a man. The heat rose until Loki felt he was on fire, when he thought he would die from it, he felt Steve stiffen and knew his lover was coming. He opened his eyes to see the look of bliss on Steven’s face, causing his own orgasm. He let out a small puff of air when Steve’s arms faltered and he collapsed onto Loki’s chest.</p><p>Wrapping his arms around that broad chest settled something in Loki’s heart and mind. He cursed himself but he knew it was too late. He was already falling for the Captain. He had called him Ástvinur after all. He internally cringed when his words played back. Had he really spoken Jötunn to Steve? Odin’s beard, he had. </p><p>“Whatever you're thinking about, stop it,” Steve muttered. “I worked very hard to get you relaxed.”</p><p>“You did, and I thank you for it.”</p><p>“Then just lay here with me.”</p><p>Loki rubbed his cheek against Steve’s, “As you wish.”</p><p>Steve shifted so he wasn’t laying on top of Loki anymore but was still draped over him.</p><p>“Can anyone come in?” Steve asked as he was sliding towards sleep.</p><p>“No Ástvinur, they cannot.”</p><p>“Mm, good,” Steve wrapped his leg up and over Loki’s hip nuzzling him, then he was asleep.</p><p>Loki chuckled to himself, he was able to get a hand free enough to cast the spell to clean them both and have the blanket over them instead of under before he went to sleep as well.</p><p>Loki felt the next few days were destined to be torturous in many ways.</p><p>And he wasn’t wrong.</p><p>***</p><p>They drove for sixteen hours then hiked another hour and a half further into the forest. When Steve called a halt for the night, he left Bucky to with the men and hiked the remaining two miles to the base to see first hand what they were up against. What he saw, he didn’t like. It facility was too small to be a factory. He doubted that there was anything subterranean, the ground seemed to be nothing but permafrost. There were several patrols but were spaced far enough apart that Steve could see gaps large enough to get his men through. He scouted a position for Bucky with a decent line of site. He jerked slightly when the smell of snow and leather reached him, he shook his head, “I left you at the camp.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Steve shook his head, somehow he knew the mage was going to show up. He really should have just had the man come with him to begin with.</p><p>“So what do you see?” Steve asked.</p><p>“Plentiful patrols but they are staggered too far apart, sniper coverage is decent but not ideal. Doubtful they would mine their own base, so that is a help.”</p><p> Steve nodded, “Just before first light, before the shift change?”</p><p>Loki nodded in agreement. </p><p>The night was long, cold and completely miserable. After only two nights, Steve kept wanting to roll onto his side to wrap around a body that wasn’t there. </p><p>Morning found Steve’s gut was churning. Nothing he had seen in Phillip’s tent or at the base was going to settle it until the mission was done and they were all back at camp, safe.</p><p>But after a half an hour he knew that’s not how today was going to go.</p><p>They left Bucky on his perch, they dropped Denier at the outer gate to blow it when the snakes tried to flee. Dum Dum and the rest followed Steve and Loki towards the section of fence line they had decided would be best to slip through. They waited for the patrol to march past then after another two minutes they slipped in that was when all hell broke loose.</p><p>The dogs were first, the nearly ferrel beasts tore after Jones before he was able to shoot one, then scramble back over the fence. Farnsworth was edged away from the group but made it up into a tree. Dum Dum missed being carbonized ash by inches, Bucky hitting the shooter in his shoulder to throw off his aim, then in the head to make sure he was out of the picture. Steve managed to take down four HYDRA soldiers with his shield. Loki dispatched another five and the dog that had treed Farnsworth, Morita was against the fence, Jones helping him when he could through the chainlink. </p><p>Loki saw it and knew the pain that was about to hit them all. A large cannon with the telling blue glow, pointed towards Barnes, and a squad of men were headed towards the still treed major.</p><p> </p><p>Loki was to uncertain of the effects his magic might have on the weapons. He took the briefest second to look too Yggdrasil and found he could help the sergeant but not the major. He sent a request to the Norns and the Valkyries that they stay away from both men and slipped into one of the great world trees roots and stepped next to Barnes, lifting him up and way from harm. He didn’t have the time to warn the man or explain so he just set them both behind a tree a few yards away. “Stay clear Barnes, that was a one time rescue,” then Loki was back through the roots and next to Steve trying to see a way to get to Farnsworth.</p><p>Steve saw Loki vanish than reappear next to him, “What the hell was that?”</p><p>“Later good Captain, we’ve got to get the men out of here,” Loki growled, “I knew we shouldn’t have come.” He’d actually give quit a lot for the help of his brother and the Warriors Three. He’d pay Thor’s weight in gold to see this lots reaction to Lady Sif.</p><p>“Steven, I need your assistance, I can call a decent fog but with the ground frozen I need a moment.”</p><p>“Do what you need to, I’ve got you.” Loki nodded, already focusing to melt the top layer of ice and snow around them. Seconds ticked by but slowly Steve could see the fog wafting towards them. He whistled for a retreat. The two he worried about were Farnsworth and Denier. He heard a thud as a body dropped from a height and pained gasp. He also heard the sweet sound of Denier’s confirmation of orders followed by an explosion.</p><p>Steve looked to Loki but found the mage clear eyed and about to move towards the tree. Steve pushed him towards the fence, “Make sure they get back to the camp, we’ll be right behind you.” Loki growled but did as asked.</p><p>Barnes was with Jones, Dum Dum and Morita when Loki made it back over the fence. “What a cluster fuck,” he heard Dum Dum snarl.</p><p>“I told Phillips this was stupid.”</p><p>Jones offered, “We all did.” </p><p>Loki herded the men back the way they came, making sure to cover their tracks with a swirl of snow behind them. He sent another prayer to the Norns that his lover and his companions could make it safely back. </p><p>Denier was waiting about a half a mile away, more scraped up and battered than he should be, but under his own power. The group was back to the camp and packing everything up to move out when Steve all but carried a limping Farnsworth into camp.</p><p>Steve to stock of his men and swore a blue streak none but Bucky would have thought him capable of. Not a single one of them was unhurt. </p><p>Bucky had a jagged slash down his left arm that looked to be from a knife. Denier was covered in scratches and dozens of already forming bruises. Dum Dum had a bandage wrapped around his thigh most likely from a gun shot. Jones’s pant leg was shredded with several red lines, though his skin tone made it hard to tell how badly hurt he was at a glance. Morita was clumsily wrapped Bucky's arm with his left hand, while holding his right arm close to himself. Steve looked to Farnsworth and the brace they had had to stop and make to support the sprained ankled and the patches of bloody pant leg where the dogs had got more than one chunk.</p><p>He set Farnsworth down as gently as he could next to the others and felt his anger rising. Before he could stop himself he shouted and threw his shield as hard as he could towards a stand of trees several yards away. The twang when it imbedded itself into a large tree was only slightly soothing. He stalked off in the other direction. He was no good to them right now. </p><p>Loki watched the captain, flinching slightly at the short lived temper tantrum. He’d seen Thor do worse for less. He followed the man back towards the road, limping himself. Even his Asgardian training hadn’t kept him safe this time. </p><p>Maybe it was time to try once more to move his father to help. People were being slaughtered, good men were dying to prevent it. Wasn’t this what being the AllFather was about?</p><p>Once he was a few yards away Loki called out, “Steve?”</p><p>“Are you all right?”</p><p>Loki heard the anger in Steve’s voice and hoped his answer would lessen it, “I will heal.”</p><p>Steve growled out, “So, no.”</p><p>“Steve,” Loki sighed, “I heal rather quickly, I will be healed before we return to base, much like yourself.”</p><p>“What?” Confused, Steve turned to look at the raven haired man.</p><p>Loki reached out and wiped at the blood flowing down Steve’s face, staining the collar of his suit. </p><p>Steve shook his head, “I can’t believe they sent us into that  mess.” Loki shrugged, he’d seen worse in his time, though not by much. “Where did those dogs come from, and that cannon?” Steve slumped against a fallen tree, his hands covering his face.</p><p>“You did what you could with what you had, Ástvinur.”</p><p>Steve shook his head. “Everyone is hurt. And we have nothing to show for it.”</p><p>“Maybe not nothing,” Loki shrugged, “I was able to spread the fog into the base and freeze it.”</p><p>Steve huffed half a laugh, “Well that should damage any electronics.”</p><p>Loki smiled, that had been his thought. Midgardian technology was very sensitive to temperature changes.</p><p>Steve asked the question he’d been dreading since he’d seen Loki disappear and the fog, “How did you do it?”</p><p>“Do what?” Loki tried to keep his tone light and innocent.  </p><p>Steve looked into Loki’s deep green eyes, “Save Bucky.”</p><p>“The same way we came back to my room.”</p><p>“But you teleport both of us, why not Bucky, or Farnsworth? He was already hurt but he fell getting out of that tree making it worse.” It didn’t make any sense why Loki would leave them both to be hurt.</p><p>Loki knelt in front of his lover, “I have limitations when I move like that. While I can open a door to Yggdrasil anywhere, I am limited to how much cargo I take and where I exit. I was able to move both of us because where I entered the World Tree with you was the start of one root, and when I left it was the end of another. It’s why I demanded that room specifically as part of my compensation for working for the Allied Forces. That root is rather large, large enough to support two people. The one I used to get to Barnes was too small to bring him along. And Farnsworth was near nothing. I could only get to Barnes. It truly is a tree, Steve. I can reach up a grab a branch, or jump if needs be to get to one, but it has to be strong enough to support the weight.”</p><p>Steve nodded. No one was or should be all powerful, not even his mage. Steve shied away from the thought but it held true. His mind was also tripping over the word Loki had used to explain how he moved, Yggdrasil and the World Tree. That was more of the Teutonic myths that Schmidt was always going on about. </p><p>He looked once more at Loki, “I think when we’re all back and safe, we need to have a talk.”</p><p>Loki swallowed past the lump forming in his throat, “A very fearful six words.”</p><p>Steve shrugged, “Lets get the men loaded and back.” Steve sighed, “I should have already had them on the road.”</p><p>“Steve, you took five minutes. No one is going to begrudge you a bit of time. Hydra can’t follow us. Denier made sure of it, I’m certain.”</p><p>“Yeah, I am too, still…” Steve trailed off. He wasn’t allowed five minutes when his men were hurt.</p><p>Loki let the matter go, there was going to be plenty of guilt and doubt to go around after this one.<br/>
***</p><p>Steve, Loki and Bucky took turns driving straight back to camp. The trip was a bit slower so as to not batter the already damaged Commandos, turning the day’s drive turned into nearly two. When they finally made it back into radio range, Jones called ahead to let the corpsmen and doctors know what to expect. No one mentioned that Barnes and even Loki’s clothes had been blood stained and battle damaged. Barnes’s cut now looked a week old and Loki was as healed as the captain.</p><p>They also decided not to mention a word about how Loki was standing next to the Captain, then next to their sniper and then right back to the Captain’s side. By silent consensus they also decided they could leave out the very well timed fog. Being wounded did give a solider a greater chance at getting out of debriefings, at least for a little while.</p><p>Steve was still just this side of livid when they made it back to camp. He wanted to demand to know what Phillips had been up to with this mess but he wanted to make sure his men were taken care of first.</p><p>Two hours later, everyone had been seen to and was resting in the barracks. Denier was the least damaged of all of them needing only a few butterfly bandages. Dum Dum was next in line, with the gunshot to the meatiest part of his thigh. Jones had three gashes down his leg but the cold had kept them from bleeding too much. Bucky’s arm had still needed stitches even with how he healed (the corpsmen never said a word about how healed the wound truly was). Morita’s arm would be fine in a few days, he had wrenched his shoulder when he’d tried to climb the fence the first time to avoid the dogs.</p><p>Farnsworth had it the worst. His ankle was sprained and three of the punctures had started to show signs of infection, nothing Morita or Loki for that matter, could do anything to help.</p><p>Steve finally made it to Phillips tent and was met by the smell of snow and leather. He breathed the scent in deeply before opening the flap, only to be greeted by, “Don’t bother Captain, I’ve had enough of your civilian’s explanation. Your unit is to stand down until Farnsworth is able to walk again.”</p><p>Steve honestly wished the colonel had let him speak. He needed to get this off his chest, instead he spun on his heel and headed for the makeshift gym the base had cobbled together for him.</p><p>A few hours later he felt a chill and smelt winter, he didn’t bother turning around. He just kept swinging at the heavy bag, filled with small grade pea gravel instead of sand.</p><p>“Have you burnt out your anger and disappointment yet?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>With a sigh, Loki replied, “I thought not. I do know other much more pleasurable ways to extinguish such rage.”</p><p>Steve spun his heel once again stalking toward his lover, “Do you have any idea what that kind of talk could do?” He hissed.</p><p>Loki pulled a larger than normal flask from his pocket, “Only if I didn’t have this on me.”</p><p>“Yes, that is so helpful, because everyone around here knows I can’t get drunk,” Steve countered.</p><p>Loki was truly surprised, “What a shame, why haven’t I heard this tidbit before?”</p><p>Steve threw his hands up, “Because it wasn’t relevant to our missions?”</p><p>Loki tipped his head in acceptance. “True, but I have a feeling this brew might just work.”</p><p>Steve drew up short on the pacing he’d started. “Do I want to know?”</p><p>“Doubtfully.”</p><p>Steve looked around before he grabbed his lover by the shirt front, kissed him, then yanked the flask from his fingers. He spun the top, took a long swig and spun the top back closed before he’d even swallowed it.</p><p>Loki was so startled by the whole thing, his only response was to laugh.</p><p>Steve suddenly felt warm but he wasn’t sure if it really was the booze or if it was the sound of Loki’s laugh. Later Steve realized Loki was right, as usual. He felt warm and a calm that he couldn’t be bothered to care wasn’t real. They were sitting on Loki’s bed, Loki’s fingers carding through his hair. </p><p>“You said you wanted to talk,” Loki wasn’t found of these kinds of conversations, but maybe a relaxed Steve would make a difference.</p><p>Steve sighed, he had said that, “You heal really fast.”</p><p>“Yes, my biology isn’t the same as yours.”</p><p>Steve turned his head enough to glare, “I told you everything.”</p><p>Loki closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall with a heavy thunk, “You will not like what I tell you.”</p><p>“Let me decide that.”</p><p>Loki leaned forward and kissed Steve, “One last one,” he whispered. “My being a mage has little to do with my healing, I can help it along; and to a small extent I can help others with it. If I was home I could have helped everyone quite a bit with spells and potions. Here, my seiðr is limited.”</p><p>“Here as in Europe?” Steve already knew he was wrong. </p><p>“Here,” Loki paused, took a deep breath and finished, “as in, Midgard,” then for clarification he added, “Earth.”</p><p>Steve rolled on his side and stared at his lover, “Try that again?”</p><p>Slowly Loki said,“I’m not from here, as in, this is not the planet of my birth or even the planet I grew up on, which is also not the same as where I was born.” Loki swallowed, but pushed on, “I was born on Jötunheimr but I grew up on Asgard. I am what your mythology calls, a frost giant. The giant part is a bit of a misnomer for me, as I am smaller than even their youngest children. I don’t know why, or even who my mother was. I grew up on Asgard because… because my birth father left me to die in a temple, Odin found me during the last battle of the war with Jötunheimr and took me home, as a war prize.” Loki let his head fall back again, “Even without my small size on Jötunheimr, I would have been an oddity, they are not magically inclined either.”</p><p>With everything Steve had heard one thing rang louder, “Wait, you said you didn’t know who your mom was, not your parents.”</p><p>Loki nodded but didn’t look at Steve, “I am the adopted son of one king and the true son of another. I am the second son in both cases.”</p><p>Steve shot up, his voice squeaked, “You’re a prince?!”</p><p>Loki shrugged, “I will be able claim neither throne, so the title is irrelevant.”</p><p>Steve shook his head, one of the Princesses of England was working as a mechanic, a driver and a nurse. He’d heard that Prince George had died in ’42 for the war but this was at least their planet, hell, their homes had been bombed. Steve was obviously for helping others but what Loki was doing confused him. “Still, what are you doing here? In the middle of war that has nothing to do with you or either your peoples, adopted or otherwise?!”</p><p>Loki looked at Steve, he reached out and touched Steve’s blond hair, and slipped his hand down to brush his thumb under Steve’s blue eye, “I’m here because it is the right thing to do, I’m here because that horrid little bilgesnipe is using the ideal of my adopted people to kill those he doesn’t like. I’m here because my adapted father is supposed to take care of all of the realms and he isn’t.” Swallowing past the dread he added, “I’m here so I could find you,” Loki let the last words trail off.</p><p>Steve wasn’t sure what to say, he flopped onto his back and shook his head. “Yeah, because some nobody from America is worthy of being with the prince of two interplanetary kingdoms.” </p><p>Loki looked down and Steve’s closed eyes, “Steven, please. Obviously Laufey wanted nothing to do with me. He left me as an infant on an altar to die. If, if it wasn’t for the markings all Jötnar are born with, Odin wouldn’t have even known who I belonged to. He may have taken me as his own but he has always made sure I knew how I was found. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know I was a foundling.”</p><p>Steve looked up at his lover and saw a sadness that should never be allowed to dim that brilliant green. He reached out and rubbed Loki’s cheek as Loki had done to him earlier. “No one should be made to feel like that.”</p><p>Loki shrugged, “I know no other way.”</p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth Year 1945)</p><p>Thor landed on Midgard, and immediately tried to get his bearings. </p><p>They were so rarely separated, that it had been some time since he’d last had to use the locating spell Loki had taught him. He sat on a nearby log and thought through each step before trying it. When he was sure he wasn’t going to go himself completely lost in a now unfamiliar realm, he let his limited magic slip out. He felt the little ping, then rose to follow it. He'd walked for a few hours when he finally came to a camp and that ping seemed closer to a thud.</p><p>He’d dispensed with his armor after the first hour and was clad in only his leather pants, tunic and cloak, but even with that he knew he stood out in this ragged group of soldiers. He waited near the edge of the camp despite his mothers dire warnings. He did not want to cause Loki more issues than he may already have. </p><p>Finally a worn haggard looking man came walking towards him. From the bearing of the man, he’d seen more than most should. Thor did not approach him.</p><p>“There something we can help you with?” The tone was one that normally would have had Thor demanding the respect he was due with a hand wrapped around the person’s throat. He let it roll off of him for Loki’s sake. </p><p>“I come looking for my brother. Our mother is quite concerned for him.”</p><p>Phillips shook his head, he only needed one guess who this giant of a man’s brother was. The man who was currently curled into the fetal position in the quarters of a recently deceased war hero. “Follow me.”</p><p>Once Phillips had the massive man away from the group of men who’d been watching him, he turned towards a temporarily empty barracks hall. Inside he stopped and waved towards a bed. Thor looked at the small billets and sat, but all be it gingerly.</p><p>“Loki.”</p><p>Thor looked up quickly, “Is he all right?”</p><p>“I am not sure that is a word I would use for him.” Phillips shook his head. How did you ask someone if they knew their brother was a … a… queer? “A very close friend died two days ago. He has not handled it… well.” Thor swore, Phillips didn’t understand a word of it, but he knew recognized the tone. “He hasn’t moved from their quarters since the team returned from their last mission. This was the second blow the team had suffered in the last few weeks.”</p><p>Thor stood and paced, his skin crackled with the energy of his anger and sorrow for his brother. “I need to see him.”</p><p>“I don’t know how to say this but your brother may not look exactly as you last saw him.” Phillips offered as a caution.</p><p>Thor snorted and laughed, “And what form has he taken this time?”</p><p>“About 6 feet tall, long black hair and well,” Phillips held his hands out in front of his chest as if he was holding something.</p><p>“Ah, so I should have asked for my sister then.”</p><p>“This isn’t new then?” Phillips confirmed.</p><p>“No, this is an old trick for him,” then Thor felt as if he’d been pushed into an ice flow, if Loki had remained in a female form for more than a day or so, the words *their quarters* replayed in his head, “Where is he, if he’s still in this form it is… oh Loki.”</p><p>“Is it something I need to know about?”</p><p>“Doubtfully, I will be taking him home to our mother, who will be all the help he will need for the foreseeable future.”</p><p>Phillips shook his head, too many little bits that didn’t add up. There was the part where he’d been in the bar the night after Sargent Barnes had died and a woman who looked close enough to be Loki Odinson’s twin sister shows up and demands to dance with the Captain. There was another part where every one of the Commandos had greeted the woman like an old friend. There was also the part where she had stayed and come with them three days later to fight Schmidt and used every skill he’d heard attributed to Loki. Then there was that kiss before the Captain smuggled himself on to the plane.<br/>
The last part was the transmission between Loki and the Captain, complete with decelerations of love and sorrow. </p><p>You also couldn’t fight a war based around Teutonic myth and not pick up a few things. Frigga was the mother of Thor and Loki. She was also the mother of childbirth and Loki had been mythologically linked to being the mother of an eight legged horse. Now here is Loki’s brother, to take him home to their mother. “Just make sure he has everything he ever needs. Captain Roger’s wouldn’t have it any other way.”</p><p>Thor nodded. “Was he a good man?”</p><p>“The best of all of us,” Phillips managed to choke out before he was out the door and a fair bit down the easement to the officer’s barracks.</p><p>Thor jogged a few steps to catch the man. “Our mother would have my head if she knew I had not introduced myself.” </p><p>Phillips interrupted before the man could speak again, “I know who you are Thor. And I’m certain I know who your brother really is.”</p><p>Thor flinched, “We are not to speak of the rest of our abilities.”</p><p>Phillips snorted again, half the camp had seen the blank faced female version of their civilian consultant. That cat was long since out of the bag. “We’ve worked with royalty before, and we we’ve worked with magic users before, though never in the same person.”</p><p>“I suppose with his work, his talents would be difficult to hide.”</p><p>Phillips nodded as he opened the door to the captain’s building. The Commandos had taken over all the rooms around the Captain’s room to ensure Loki was left alone in his grief and his current version.</p><p>“Major Farnsworth?” </p><p>A slim man turned quickly snapping a salute as he did, he drew up short when his line of sight landed on Thor. “He’s not good, sir. If that’s who I think it is, I’m hoping he can get him to eat. He hasn’t had a bite since before the Captain…”</p><p>Thor sighed, this was not good. In his state he needed to eat often, if he was with a child he would have to eat large amounts to counter the growth of the child and the use of magic. He’d seen it with Sleipnir. “Bring what ever broth you can spare. I will ensure he eats, if he’s to weak he can’t travel. I need to get him home to our mother.”</p><p>Jones heard the request and was out the door with a nod and half a salute to the colonel. At the door he heard, “The heavier the better.”</p><p>Thor squared his shoulders and asked, “Where is he?”</p><p>Denier was standing in front of the door, he opened it slowly to look in on their friend. He was still laying on the bed, but Denier could only tell because he knew exactly where Loki had been since the day he’d laid down on the bed, pulling all of the captain’s uniforms around him.</p><p>Denier slowly walked to the lump, “Loki, your bother is here, yes. Do you want to see him?” Denier knew Loki could understand his French so he didn’t bother with what little English he knew. He heard Loki say something but it was much to quiet to understand. He walked to the bed and knelt near it, “What little one?”</p><p>Finally he heard the soft voice ask,“Is he angry?”</p><p>“No,” Denier reached a hand out, rubbing a smoothing circle on the delicate hand he could find. “No, petite, he is very worried for you. You can see it in his face.”</p><p>“Is he alone?”</p><p>“Yes, he said he wants to take you home to your mamma.” Denier heard the sob, it was the first time he’d heard Loki make a sound since the Captain’s radio had stopped. He scrambled up and out into the hall, he waved the huge man into the room with a look of fear in his eyes.</p><p>Thor was there in four strides. “Oh Loki,” Thor knew somewhere under the mound of shaking clothes was his little brother, alone and so lost. He reached into the pile until he found skin then pulled it towards him until the lithe body of his brother was in his lap, sobbing. </p><p>Once before Thor had held his brother like this. Once when they were very young and Loki had had his first heart break. Thor knew this one would be so much worse. Then Loki had had time to see that the naive was not worth his sorrow, this time his love was gone, but had left behind something precious. </p><p>“Did he know?”</p><p>Loki shook his head, “I couldn’t tell him. He thought I was having a lark staying like this. I was going to tell him when we came back. I was going to tell him we would name the child after his lost brother. And now they’re both gone.”</p><p>A sound from the door had Thor looking up to see the tall dark man had returned holding a long metal looking tube. “I had them put in a thermos so it would stay warm,” the man explained.</p><p>Thor had no idea what a thermos was and the Allspeak wasn’t sure what to do with the word either. He jumped a little when Loki’s voice carried to the man, “He has no idea what that is, but thank you for confusing him. It is one of my favorite things in life.”</p><p>The man walked in and set it on the bed, bunching clothes around it. “It’s insulated to keep the temperature constant.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Jones reached out and smoothed down Loki’s long hair, it was greasy and limp with none of the shine it had had just days ago. “He will be missed by everyone. I know it won’t mean much to you, but we all loved him.”</p><p>Thor felt his brother nod against his shoulder. He knew the answer but hoped the man would add some information, “He was your captain?”</p><p>“He was our friend. His rank meant very little to us. He didn’t care about where we came from or what we looked like, only that we did our best. I was there when he lost his best friend just a week ago. He was broken until we could get him back to Loki.”</p><p>Thor asked Loki using the language they created as children, one even the Allspeak wouldn’t translate, “Do they know?” Loki shook his head no. “Should we tell them?” </p><p>Loki sighed and shrugged, “They will never be able to see the babe.”</p><p>“But knowing something of their friend will lives on?”</p><p>Loki turned away and curled further into his brother. He’d leave it up to Thor to decide. He just couldn’t. </p><p>Thor stood once more and set his brother back into his nest, he already knew every piece of clothing would be traveling with them. “Sleep bróðir, I’ll help you eat when I return.”</p><p>Loki hadn’t the heart to tell his bother he hadn’t slept since his Ástvinur had fallen.</p><p>In the hall Thor herded the men out into the evening air. He paced for a moment gathering his words. Loki was the wordsmith not him, but for his brothers sake he tried, “Loki is very unique. You have known him for some time, yes?”</p><p>Everyone nodded, Farnsworth answered, “We’ve worked with him for months. We know he’s a mage. We know he’s not from here,” he added with his arms spread.</p><p>“Ah, well that makes this a little simpler. Where he is from is not the same as where I am from, though we have been raised as brothers. Our mother made sure he was able to protect himself the best she could. And that may have changed him in ways we do not know. One of them is the reason he has not returned to the version you have known for so long.”</p><p>Mortia had been wondering about that. Loki’s face when Cap’s plane went down was a hell of a lot more heartbreak then he’d expected to see. “He can have kids, can’t he? When he’s like that, he can have a kid.”</p><p>Thor nodded, pleased that the man who reminded him of Hogun was able to see, “Yes. Your friend will live on, for a very long time. But you will never be able to see the child. Because of where we are from and how his people are, it will be years before the child comes. It why he hadn’t told you yet.”</p><p>“Years?” Jones gasped, “What are they like elephants?”</p><p>“I do not know what that is.” Thor shook his head and continued, “Our home does not count time as you do. He was born over a thousand years ago, but for all that time, here he would only be counted as roughly sixteen.”</p><p>Thor was startled when the entire group shouted “WHAT?!” in near perfect unison.</p><p>“It is the age of consent, I myself would only be counted as nineteen.”</p><p>Loki leaned agains the doorway, “Brother,” he sighed, “I would be seventeen here in a matter of weeks.”</p><p>Phillips looked to the mage, “That doesn’t help that much. Should you be up, you look like you’re about to fall over.”</p><p>Loki started to reach for Thor but his brother was there before his hand could raise above his waist. “The colonel has a point. Mother is most worried for you. The healers need to see you. Do you have the strength to pack the things you need?”</p><p>Loki gave the tiniest head shake. It had taken everything he had to make the short journey to the door. “I do not think I will be strong enough to travel with Heimdell for sometime.”</p><p>Thor sighed, “I cannot travel as you do, you know that.”</p><p>“I know. Go back for Mother. She can travel with me.”</p><p>“If I leave you alone both our parents will have my head,” Thor adamantly shook his head no, “I will not leave you here.”</p><p>“I won’t be alone you imbecile, I have all of Steven’s brothers watching me.”</p><p>“Loki,” Thor growled, “I have known you too long.  If they could have swayed you to eat or to sleep they would have. Even to bathe,” Thor shook his head again, “no.”</p><p>Jones stepped closer to the bickering brothers, even if his head tried to skirt away from that last word, “Can this Heimdall take one of us? Can we see your mother and ask her to come to Loki?”</p><p>Thor looked to the solider, “Yes, he could easily. But the way is like none you have ever seen. I am not sure you will be able to understand it.”</p><p>Loki thought about it for moment, “Get Stark. If anyone can accept the Bifrost, it’s Howard.”</p><p>Farnsworth nodded and took off at quick jog towards the section of camp Stark had claimed as his. ‘This should be fun’ he thought to himself. Howard had idolized the Captain quit a bit over the time they had worked together. He hoped the scientist could accept his hero having a male lover. </p><p>Farnsworth nearly tripped over Stark as the man came out of his tent heading towards the mess tent. “Ah just the man I needed,” he grabbed Stark’s arm and steered him back towards Loki. “We have a bit of an issue and Loki is sure you’re the man for the job.”</p><p>“Well, she’s usually right. What’s going on?”</p><p>Farnsworth paused for a moment, did he spring Loki’s current state on Howard or not. Then Stark’s words rang in his head, “You said she.”</p><p>“Well, last time I saw him, he was sporting a pretty set of, oh well I suppose its not polite to mention such things. And I’m sure Steve would be rather put out with me if he heard me refer to his partner’s attributes.”</p><p>“You know?” Farnsworth was sure they had kept their secret.</p><p>Stark threw his head back and laughed, “Please, Cap couldn’t keep his eyes off Loki, no matter what he looked like. I was at the club the other night when she showed up. At first he wanted to nothing to do with her but she leaned in and said something and suddenly he was looking at her like he’d been looking at Loki. Not to mention she has the same knockout green eyes and that hair. It wasn’t hard to figure out our resident magic expert could make himself look like someone else.”</p><p>“Not just look like. Loki apparently isn’t for here.”</p><p>“Here,” Stark said, “okay, can we be more specific, western Europe here or Earth here?”</p><p>Farnsworth shrugged, “I have no idea truthfully where he’s from, just not here,” he added a heavy emphasis on the ‘here’. “I do know that where ever he is from, they want you to go there. Loki needs some help from his mother and he can’t go right now.”</p><p>Stark stopped cold, his shoulders dropped. “She’s still here huh?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Stark shook his head, “Cap didn’t even know what he was losing did he?”</p><p>Starks mind was amazing too Farnsworth. He didn’t think of himself as a dumb man, but in a two minute conversation Stark had already figured out that Loki was able to change how he looked, that he wasn’t from earth and if he didn’t miss his guess, that Loki was somehow pregnant. “He hadn’t told him yet. It was planned when they got back here.”</p><p>“And he never got back.”</p><p>Instead of giving the unneeded answer he turned on his heel and kept walking back to the Commandos and Thor. Loki had become a Commando after that first mission. “His brother is here, but after seeing how bad Loki is, he won’t leave.”</p><p>“How bad is she?” Howard asked. He had wanted to check in but he wanted to give Loki space to grieve and he doubted the Commandos would let him.</p><p> “We thought he’d been sleeping, but I don’t think he has.” Farnsworth stopped for a moment, “I suppose I should say she. I, it will take a bit of time to remember that.”</p><p>Stark nodded. For some people it would probably break them to try and understand, let alone accept.   </p><p>They rounded the corner to find the area empty, Farnsworth hoped Loki hadn’t collapsed or anything. Inside the quarters he found the hall full of the Commandos. They all made room when they saw who had come in. </p><p>Stark followed to the room he knew had been Steve’s. Inside what he saw broke his heart. Loki was curled up in the lap of a man half again Steve’s size, her head resting on his broad shoulder, tears making those green eyes seem brighter but the grief clouding them at the same time. </p><p>“Heya Doll,” Stark knelt before the lady. “I hear there’s a bit of Mother’s love needed. What can I do?”</p><p>“I need for you to travel to Asgard and speak with our mother, The Queen.”</p><p>The entire room went still, the same thought was going through every one of their minds, Loki was a prince? Or Princess, or royalty, what ever title he chose.</p><p>“Yes, Loki is the Prince of Asgard.”</p><p>Loki’s voice came just loud enough that they could hear him, “And you’re the Crown Prince.”</p><p>“Yes, little one, but you will always be the most loved by our mother.”</p><p>Everyone saw the tiny shoulder shrug. </p><p>Stark cleared his throat, “Where is Asgard, exactly?”</p><p>Loki waited to see how the Great God of Thunder was going to explain that one. </p><p>“It is such a distance that you do not yet have a way to travel there. I cannot explain the magic, or use your science to explain it. Loki can and is being a brat for even leaving me to try.” He gently poked a rib, know exactly what his brother had been doing.</p><p>“Was worth a shot.”</p><p>“You’ve had your laugh at me for the day, wait until tomorrow please.”</p><p>“Fine,” Loki sighed and sat up a bit too look at Howard. </p><p>“Oh honey, you have got to get some sleep.” Howard was astonished to see how badly she looked. “Have you eaten?” Suddenly Howard was terrified for Loki and the baby.</p><p>Loki again shrugged, “A little.”</p><p>Thor growled, “To little.”</p><p>Ignoring his brother, Loki began, “You have studied Einstein’s works, yes?” Howard nodded and waited to see what Loki would add. “What about the work with Dr. Rosen?”</p><p>Howards face lit up, “THE BRIDGE!? Their idea is real?!”</p><p>Loki nodded, “As best as I understand the theory yes, this is the Bifrost.”</p><p>Howards rocked back on his heels so fast he ended falling on his ass. “Amazing! And you want me to use this bridge in space to go get your Mom?”</p><p>Loki nodded. He was very tired again. He closed his eyes and thought for a long moment. When he opened his eyes again there was a small scroll laying in his lap. He handed it to Howard. “Give this to Heimdall, he will know the seal in mine. Tell him you need to see Queen Frigga and only the Queen.”</p><p>“Who’s Heimdall?”</p><p>Thor answered, he could feel how tired Loki was, he was trembling with the effort to stay awake. “He is our gatekeeper. He should be the only one in the room when you arrive. I will call for him to take you. I am sure he as seen all that has occurred since I left, but the scroll will ensure there are no issues.”</p><p>Howard nodded, he got up and glanced down at his clothing, it would have to do, Loki needed help now.</p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth Year 1945)</p><p>Steve was in shock. He knew he was. Here was apparently another thing the serum couldn’t protect him from. </p><p>Bucky was gone. </p><p>He hadn’t been fast enough. He’d still been too small to reach his best friend. He’d failed the one person who had always, always been there for him. This wasn’t supposed to be the end of the line. But somehow it was. Somehow the end of the line had been on the side of the Swiss Alps. He couldn’t accept it, but he had too. James Buchanan Barnes had died in the service of his country well really, his world.</p><p>Steve couldn’t get the look of terror on Bucky’s face out of his head. The landing wouldn’t have killed him. No, Steve was sure the fear of falling for so long would have killed him long before any sort of imp-, ‘NO,’ Steve shouted to himself, ‘no’. He wasn’t going to let him mind finish that thought. He couldn’t. He’d be sick again if he let his mind go there. He had to blank everything out, he had to stop it all.</p><p>He managed it all the way back to camp, right up until he felt Loki’s arms wrap around him. He had no idea where he was, where they could be. He didn’t care. He cried on his lover’s shoulder, he cried in a way he hadn’t ever cried before, not even when his mother died. He’d lost Bucky three times now. He guessed the third time really was the charm.</p><p>“No Ástvinur, The Norns have been exceedingly cruel to you to take your brother from you so many times.”</p><p>Steve looked up at Loki’s voice, had he really been so cliché to speak without meaning too?</p><p>Loki gave Steve a weak half smile. “Not really, you only mumbled it. But I could hear you all the same. Come, let’s get you out of that and into something far more comfortable.”</p><p>Steve’s mind went blank again as he let Loki undress him like a doll. He tried to shut out the sound of Bucky picking up some dame, telling her she has the features of the finest porcelain doll. He felt the tears again and couldn’t stop them.</p><p>The next time he had a full thought, it was to wonder why he was hungry, he’d eaten before the mission.</p><p>“The mission was two days ago Ástvinur.”</p><p>Steve found Loki looking down at him, that sad half smile on his lips again. “What am I gonna do without him Loki?” Steve’s Brooklyn accent deepening with his grief.</p><p>Loki brushed Steve’s hair from his face before he leaned down and kissed his forehead. “You, my Ástvinur, are going to get up, take a shower and eat. Then you are going to go talk to Phillips about the vile little anzvíti and finally you are going to the club with your men.”</p><p>Steve nodded, there was no way he could actively decide anything right now, but Loki’s plan seemed to make sense. And after a shower and food, when he walked into Phillip’s office he almost felt like he could think again. When the plan had been made to go after Red Skull’s main base of operations, Loki told him he needed a few hours to finish up a few things and that he would see him tonight at the club.</p><p>Steve changed in to his Class A’s and headed towards the club to toast Bucky and wait for Loki. The Commandos were at the bar as they waited for their usual table to be cleared up. Steve was watching the door for Loki, when a dark haired woman walked in. Steve looked away, taking a drink of his beer but something made him look back to the woman; who he found much closer than she had been just a moment ago.</p><p>“Good evening Captain,” the voice was smooth and lilting, similar to Loki’s. </p><p>“Evening ma’am,” Steve said as he looked again and swallowed, her eyes were just as green as Loki’s. The longer he looked the more he saw Loki in this woman. And the more he saw, the angrier he got with himself. He loved Loki. He knew he loved him. And suddenly here’s a dame that looks like him and… and. Damn it.</p><p>“Why Captain, I do believe you are put out with me,” the woman laughed. “Shall I help you with that?” She asked with small smile, scrunching her nose up. She leaned in, draping a hand over Steve’s shoulder. </p><p>All of the Commandos were on alert, trying to decide without words wether they should intervene or not.  </p><p>“Come now, Ástvinur, don’t you recognize me?”</p><p>Steve jerked back with a gasp, he felt more than saw or heard his men tense up around him. At barely a whisper, he asked, “Loki?”</p><p>“Hello my beloved, I’ve been waiting for a chance to dance with you,” Loki stepped back, hand still on Steve’s shoulder, “are you coming?”</p><p>Jones reached over and pried the beer mug’s handle from Steve’s fingers, no easy feat. “If you don’t go dance with your boyfriend, who can apparently look like a gal, we are going to take your captain's bars and give them to her.”</p><p>Steve shook his head and suddenly couldn’t get his hands around Loki’s waist fast enough. Loki had given him the best gift he could have ever gotten; the chance to dance in public with the man he loved. So, maybe he looked a little different, but Steve could see all of the physical things he loved about Loki. The eyes were the same impossible green, the hair was still so black it made ink look grey, and Steve thought too himself he still couldn’t wax poetically, but he had the best dame in the world in his arms.</p><p>“You are amazing,” Steve managed to stutter out when they finally stepped into each others arms. </p><p>Loki let herself smile as she laid her head on Steve’s shoulder. “Thank you for thinking so.”</p><p>Steve held Loki close breathing in the scent of snow and leather, even like this Loki was the best thing. “How?” Steve finally asked.</p><p>“Hmm, it is a trait of my people. I,” Loki swallowed, “I don’t do it often. But once in a while it feels right to be like this. To be as I think Father and sometimes Thor, see me.”</p><p>“This is not less,” Steve tipped Loki’s head so he could see the eyes he dreamed about. “This could never be less.”</p><p>Loki smiled and nodded. “This comes with all the usual pieces, if you were ever interested.”</p><p>On any other day, Steve would have balked at the idea. No woman had ever drawn his attention, but then Loki wasn’t just any woman. Loki was Loki in all forms. Steve smiled, channeling his lost brother, he leaned in and said, “I am interested in you and all your parts no matter what they look like, because you Acushla, are mine.”</p><p>Loki breathed, letting her eyes flutter shut, Steve had always been loving and attentive but he had never called Loki beloved before. “Do you think darling, we could sneak away sooner rather than later?”</p><p>“I think that is the best plan you have ever come up with.”</p><p>Loki smiled before reaching up on her tiptoes, just the tiniest bit to adjust for their new heights and kissed Steve like she’d wanted to since the first day she’d seen the man.</p><p>They broke to the Commandos and a fair number of patrons catcalling them. Steves face turned bright red, clear up into his hair line. Loki threw her head back and laughed before grabbing Steve’s hand and dragging him out the door, winking at the Commandos as they passed. “Don’t wait up boys, he’s going to be very busy.”</p><p>The table laughed and a few more whistles sounded. They only made it a few buildings down before Steve felt the need to kiss Loki under the stars. So he pressed Loki against the brick of a small shop and gave in. The crisp coolness of Loki’s mouth was the same as always. The lips beneath his were just soft enough to make him notice. “You are the only woman I’ve ever wanted,” he said moving to kiss Loki’s neck, “the only woman I’m ever going to want.”</p><p>Loki shivered and it wasn’t from the coolness of the evening. “There will be no others for me I think,” Loki answered. “How could anyone ever compete with you, Ástvinur?”</p><p>Steve wanted to be jealous of anyone ever touching his lover again, but they had talked a little about how long Loki could live, though they didn’t have any idea what the serum would do for Steve’s lifespan. “Don’t. I don’t want you to be alone if, when, I’m gone,” Steve almost begged. As much as it hurt to think about, he had to say it. He kissed Loki once more before sliding his hand around the back of that gorgeous neck, “Find someone to give you everything I would give you. Find someone to love you like I do.”</p><p>Loki swallowed her tears, “No one will love me like you do Ástvinur, no one can, because no one has ever seen me the way you do, and I doubt anyone else would ever bother.”</p><p>“Try, please, if something happens, try.”</p><p>Loki nodded once, before kissing Steve with everything she had. “Take me to bed, please?”</p><p>Steve nodded, lacing his fingers through the long slender fingers he knew so well. Loki guided Steve to his quarters, pushing the door closed, letting his magic lock the door to all but the Commandos while silencing the room to everyone’s ears. </p><p>He reached a hand up to lose the strap of the gown she wore but Steve stopped her, “Let me?”</p><p>Loki looked up a little shyly, she didn’t know why she was suddenly feeling so soft and shy. This was by far not her first time, as a man or woman, with a man or a woman. But it felt so different tonight. She let her hands fall to her sides, “Anything.”</p><p>Steve knelt and lifted the most slender foot he’d ever seen. Feet, on a whole had never been a thing for him, but now, like this, Loki’s foot was the most amazing thing. The slender kitten heel was set aside as if it was as precious as the person who had been wearing it. Its mate received the same treatment. </p><p>Steve stood up, trailing his hands up Loki’s arms as he went. He leaned in and kissed one bare shoulder then the other as his hands slipped behind the lithe frame to find the zipper for the gown. “You look amazing, no matter what you’re wearing. Your suits are always perfectly tailored to show your amazing bottom. I know you do it to torture me, I know you stand right in front of me when you know you’re going to have to reach for a map piece.” The zipper slid down, pulling the thin straps with it, “When you’re with us in the field, your armor is breathtaking, I see how it moulds to your skin. The way you dance away from one opponent to another, leaving each one scattered around you like broken toys.” Steve stopped, letting a shiver free, watching his hands shake as they push the emerald satin dress to the floor, baring Loki fully to Steve. </p><p>Steve couldn’t stand any longer, his knees gave out, forcing him to the floor. Before him was the most beautiful woman ever. Where Loki was sharp and angular before, she was now soft and curved. He leaned his forehead against Loki’s soft stomach and tried to breath again. Finally he looked up to his lover’s eyes. “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I want to do everything.”</p><p>Loki chuckled, her voice so much higher. “I promise, it’s not that much different.” She held out a hand, pulling Steve to his feet once the fingers where wrapped around it. “May I?” She asked letting those fingers trace down the buttons of Steve’s coat.</p><p>Steve couldn’t answer, so he nodded, swallowing hard. Loki knelt and pulled his shoes off, smirking when she let them drop over her shoulder without a care. Steve smiled and laughed, but then Loki’s lips were right in front of his as those wonderful fingers made quick work of his jacket, then his shirt. He went still when they slipped down his chest to the buttons on his trousers. He really wished he had the wall or the door to lean against. His body was jelly. Well, almost all of his body was jelly, one distinctive piece was anything but soft. “What you do to me,” Steve whispered, his fingers tangling in that inky hair.  </p><p>“Mmm, you do it right back,” Loki purred, “step.”</p><p>Steve shook his head and lifted his foot to step out of the pants. Being free of the mildly itchy fabric brought him fully back to the moment. He scooped Loki up bridal style and carried his lover to bed. Mostly because if he didn’t have something supporting him soon he was going to melt through the floor.</p><p>They both sighed when Steve set them on the bed and they could curl into each other, skin meeting skin, for the first time but for the hundredth time as well.</p><p>He felt like he was burning up, like he had been pushed back into that (awful shade of green) chamber again, his blood burned, his bones ached and it was heaven. </p><p>Loki pushed on Steves shoulder pushing him onto his back. “The wonderful thing about this shape,” she whispered as she waved a hand and Steve’s boxers were gone, “is this.” With no thought to anything but being whole, Loki slipped down Steve’s ridged cock. Steve was suddenly terrified until his mind caught up with his body, and Loki’s. “Oh hell,” he moaned. The tiny spike of adrenaline working its way out from his heart to the rest of his body. “Oh okay, might see a bit of why the guys like this so much,” he groaned. He let his head drop onto he pillows but his hands found their way to the even narrower waist. </p><p>Loki’s rhythm was different than any other time they had been together, Steve couldn’t think about that, only the eyes looking at him, the skin under his fingers, and slick heat wrapped around him.</p><p>The night kept on like that. Six times, Steve took Loki. Well, six times Loki let Steve take her. He knew very well that even in this slightly smaller body, Loki could stop Steve, but everything they did was nothing but amazing. </p><p>Steve finally dropped off to sleep nearing dawn. Loki wasn’t quit ready to surrender too Somnus yet. </p><p>She had several reasons besides helping Steve with her decision for being a woman today. If things were just right, she was sure she would conceive a child. A child couldn’t, and shouldn’t replace a lost loved one, but sometimes, it did help to lessen the pain. That is what Loki wanted to give Steve. </p><p>She already knew her Father would be livid. Knew tying  herself in this way to a Midgardian, even one with the chance of a longer life, wasn’t what the AllFather had had in mind for Loki when he’d rescued him as tiny runt that day. But it was what Loki had in mind for her life now. She was done with being Prince of Asgard, for now, maybe in a hundred years, she might consider changing her mind. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth 1944)</p><p>Peggy watched the Commandos new strategist walk around the map table. He murmured to himself often and though she could hear the words she couldn’t understand any of them.<br/>
She watched the Captain wander in, she’d hoped more than once that she might draw his attention. He’d seemed a little interested when they were in New York but now, the longer she watched the more she realized Steve had always been vague about what kind of dance partner he wanted. Sadly she smiled, the look of loneliness in Steve’s eyes as he talked about that partner was nearly heartbreaking now that she was thinking about it. Now that she understood it was a loneliness that could be for a life time.</p><p>But she didn’t think that was the case any longer. There was enough space between them that you wouldn’t see it. But she’d dealt with Steve enough before the serum that she knew his body language. He wasn’t avoiding him, but he was trying to make it look like he was. He shifted too often, his line of site never left the door way. </p><p>She was surprised he hadn’t noticed her, but then she was leaning against one of the book shelves. </p><p>She watched as he got brave and shifted close enough to say something into Mr. Odinson’s ear, and what ever it was, pulled such a smile from the man’s face, Peggy could feelings its glow.</p><p>She watched the dark haired man turn a let the back of his hand slip down the Captain’s arm lingering over his hand. Then he shrugged and with a tip of his head he headed out the door with  a hand behind his back, one finger motioning the Captain to follow. </p><p>And he did, a silly little grin on his face, and not a trace on loneliness in his eyes. </p><p>If she wasn’t mistaken, Steve had found his dancing partner.</p><p>***</p><p>Midgard  (Earth Year 1945)</p><p>Thor set his hand on Stark’s shoulder. “I fear you might be quite sick when you reach Asgard, but it generally passes quickly. Heimdall will be waiting for you. Tell my mother what you know. It will help her decide what to bring.”</p><p>Howard looked back towards the officer’s quarters, “So does she know Loki can…” </p><p>Thor was unsure which of Loki’s abilities Stark was referring to, so he waited.</p><p>Howard sighed, “She knows that her son isn’t always a son?”</p><p>“That he is a shapeshifter? Yes, Mother is very aware of this. She is also aware that Loki can carry a child. This would be the second time he’s done so.”</p><p>“Look do I say she, her, daughter or him, he, son?”</p><p>“Either, Mother will understand as soon as you mention Loki.”</p><p>“I just wanted to get it right.”</p><p>Thor smiled sadly, he had given his brother trouble over the years because of Loki’s ability to use magic and to change on a whim. These last few months apart had given the Thunder God time to think and he had realized how awful he had been to his brother. “I have not always tried as hard as I should have to make sure Loki knows how much I care. I will do everything I can to make sure Loki knows, that no mater who Loki is today or will be tomorrow, I will be there.”</p><p>“Nice avoidance of pronouns,” Howard laughed, he looked up to the sky. He took a deep breath and asked one last question, “Is this gonna hurt?”</p><p>Thor shook his head. “No, it is just dizzying the first few times. You should put the note to Mother in your pocket. It can be hard to remember to hold on to anything,” Thor nodded towards the rolled parchment in Stark’s hand.</p><p>Howard pulled open his jacket and shoved it into his inside pocket. He took one more deep breath, then nodded at Thor, “All right, let’s do this.”</p><p>Thor looked to the sky and shouted, “Heimdall, Loki has a messenger to speak to Mother,” then he stepped back from Stark. “Safe travels Stark.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Howard muttered mostly to himself. The next thought he had, was how loud the Bifrost was and to wonder how Thor and Loki weren’t actually deaf from it. When he landed the huge black man in golden armor kept him from falling straight on his face, he wondered if maybe that was why Thor had yelled so much. Then he threw up and he wondered if the human body was supposed to be able to puke in those particular colors. When he was finished he heard a very heavy sigh from the man holding him upright.</p><p>“Sorry,” Howard gasped.</p><p>“It is not the first time someone has found Bifrost travel unsettling. It will not be the last.”</p><p>Howard stood up and his arms spread a little wide to try and regain his balance. After a moment everything settled and he was able to drop his arms to his side. Once he did he remembered the scroll, he reached into his pocket and handed it to the large dark,skinned man in gold. “Loki said I was supposed to give this to Heimdall, I’m guessing that’s you.”</p><p>“No guessing needed, Stark.” Heimdall took the scroll and snapped it open with a practiced flick. He read the words quickly. He shook his head once and rolled it back up before retiring it to Stark. “There is a skiff waiting through that door, take it. The Queen is in her gardens.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Howard turned away towards the doorway, but before he reached it, he turned and said, “Anyone ever tell you, you have the most stunning eyes?”</p><p>“Not as such.”</p><p>Howard shrugged, “Well you do.”</p><p>Heimdall shook his head, mortals were odd. So very odd. He did let the small smile lift one corner of his mouth. Odd, but enchanting. Then he remembered the mess behind him and frowned. </p><p>Howard wasn’t sure what kind of skiff he expected when he walked through the large doorway, a door that was big enough to roll a stack of Howitzers through. That and the size of Thor and Heimdall had changed Howard’s expectations. </p><p>So the floating sky boat only made him pause for a moment. He shook his head as he walked over to the man waiting for him. He knew this would make his robotic reversion technology look like a cheap imitation Cracker Jack toy.</p><p>“You have come to speak to the AllMother?”</p><p>Howard wanted to shrug, neither prince had referred to her that way but it was a fair guess that was her title here. “Yes, the, uh, the princes couldn’t travel right now. They asked me to play the part of emissary.”</p><p>The man nodded once and held his hand out to help Howard to board the boat. Once he was seated the skiff moved away from the shimmering bridge. Howard wanted to get his hands on it as much as he’d wanted to be involved with Project Rebirth. If, no when, things settled he would be sure to ask. </p><p>The ride took about ten minutes, then they transferred to two horses for a another five or six minutes. By the time they finally were admitted to the Queen’s Gardens Howard had been on another planet for a solid thirty minutes. </p><p>He’d met royalty before. Several princes, a couple princesses, even the King of England. This would actually be his first Queen and his first goddess if you believed the myths. And he really was starting to.</p><p>Queen Frigga was one of the tallest women he’d ever seen, she was nearly as tall as her son. She was beautiful and glided towards him and his escort like no one he’d ever seen.</p><p>His escort dropped to one knee, head bowed and right hand on his left shoulder. “AllMother, this is Emissary Howard Stark, he was sent by Princes Thor and Loki.”</p><p>Howard was startled that this man knew his name, but the Golden Guy was supposedly some sort of all seeing deity, he probably knew everything.</p><p>Howard bowed formally, “Your Majesty.”</p><p>“Do you have a honorific besides Emissary?”</p><p>Howard could throw out a handful of labels but none would be appropriate for this situation, “Not really ma’am, Mister will be fine.”</p><p>“Well, Mr. Stark, what news do you have my sons?”</p><p>Howards stood as straight as he could, “It might be best to speak alone, ma’am.”</p><p>The dark haired escort spoke up, “I have duties to attend to my Queen.”</p><p>“Hogun, Thank you for escorting him, I am sure Thor will return soon.”</p><p>“Of course, my Queen.”</p><p>As soon as his escort left the queen smiled and gestured to the near by seating area, “Would you care for something to drink?”</p><p>Howard smiled as he sat down, “No ma’am, I think I should tell you want you need to know. I am worried about Loki.”</p><p>Frigga nodded, “What has happened?”</p><p>Howard stifled the nervous laugh that wanted to bubble up, he hadn’t been this nervous since he worn short pants. “Loki, well Loki fell in love with one of our men. Captain Steven Rogers. Steve is, was, one of the best of us.”</p><p>Frigga sighed, she’d known. She wished that she hadn’t. “You asked to speak alone when I mentioned my sons. Loki has changed hasn’t she?”</p><p>“Yes ma’am, Thor said you knew but I didn’t know if anyone else did.”</p><p>“There are a few who are aware of Loki’s ability to change his form and to bare children, Hogun is one of them. Since we are talking of my daughter and the death of her lover, I am going to assume you are here to tell me I’m going to be grandmother. Again.”</p><p>“Again?”</p><p>“Yes, this is not the first time Loki will have be with child. Though this time it was out of love, and not loyalty to her father.”</p><p>Howard hoped to hell there wasn’t an eight legged horse running around this realm. He was pulled from his thoughts when the Queen asked him how Loki was. “Grieving, I don’t think she’s eaten or slept much, if at all. When I saw her she was looking pretty damned lost. She was sitting in Thor’s lap looking even smaller than the last time I’d seen her.”</p><p>Frigga sighed, her heart heavy. She had been dreading this for days. Ever since the feelings started. “I was afraid of this. I should have gone myself.”</p><p>“I would have never let you travel there alone, Wife.”</p><p>Frigga smiled at her husband but it was sad, even Howard could see that and he’d known the woman for all of five minutes.</p><p>“No, you would have sent Thor with me and I would have had nothing I need for Loki.”  </p><p>“Is he all right?” Odin stepped around one of the settee setting his hand of his wife’s shoulder.</p><p>“This is Mister Howard Stark, he was telling me about Loki, she will be fine in time,” Frigga patted Odin’s hand. “She found someone, and has lost them.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>Howard cringed, that ‘I see’ hadn’t sounded very compassionate. He wanted to explain, Howard felt he *needed* to explain, “Captain Rogers didn’t leave Loki, he died saving millions of people, your majesty. He had to crash a, ah plane, a sky ship with several bombs on it. One of those was aimed near where Loki had been at the time and it was large enough it may have hurt her.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>“Did Captain Rogers know?” Frigga asked softly.</p><p>Howard shook his head, “Loki was going to tell him when they returned from this last mission. She didn’t want to distract him anymore then he already was. All of the Captain’s men are grieving for more than just Steve. They lost another man, his best friend, a brother almost, last week.” Howard was the one to smile sadly this time, “They went nearly two years and lost not a single man, then lost two of the best back to back.”</p><p>Frigga rose and kissed her husband on the cheek, “Loki is pregnant, Husband. I need to gather a few things for her. We both know how she is when she’s heart broken.”</p><p>Odin nodded, “Yes, Loki only thinks she’s hiding it. He’s no better.”</p><p>Frigga shook her head, Odin had always separated Loki into two people when they spoke of his changing.  </p><p>“Oh, do not look at me like that,” Odin admonished with a shake of his head, “when he’s Loki, his mannerism are one way, the way he stands, walks, even his speech. When she’s Loki, somethings are similar but they are not the same. He is more twins than the one person.”</p><p>Frigga let it go, so long as Odin accepted Loki and the child she did not care how he dealt with Loki’s ability to change. She turned to Stark and smiled, “Come Mr. Stark, you can help me pack. Tell me of the weather, Loki gets terribly cold when she’s pregnant.”</p><p>Odin watched his wife walk away with the Midgardian. Someday he might understand what others saw in the realm but today was not going to be that day. With a shake of his head he called for a guard to track down Hogun. He would have the Warriors Three accompany his Queen to this realm. Lady Sif might bristle at it, but she could help as a Lady in Waiting if needed.</p><p>***</p><p>Thor held his sister. She was so still. He had to concentrate to feel if she was breathing. “Loki, it would lighten my heart if you were to drink some more of the broth. You need to keep your strength up for the babe.” At first the only response he got has a heavy sigh. Finally he used the words he had hoped he would not need. “How angry would your Captain be with you if he could see you right now?”</p><p>That got him a reaction. Loki lifted her head up and glared at her brother with every ounce of venom she could muster. And even in her weakened state that was more than Thor normally wanted to deal with. But he held fast this time, “Loki.”</p><p>Loki turned to the bed and yanked the thermos out of the pile of blankets. She spun the top loose and drank a fair bit of the warm hearty broth. She spun the lid back on and flopped back onto Thor’s chest. </p><p>He leaned down and kissed her hair. “Do I need to anger you to bathe?”</p><p>Loki’s hand slid down Thor’s side until it reached his large side. Then she smiled when she heard him gasp and growl. </p><p>“No pinching,” Thor admonished as he reached his side and moved the long thin fingers so he could sooth the bruise he already knew she’d placed on his skin. </p><p>Three barks of laughter could be heard in the hall way. Loki peeked up to see Jones, Denier, and Morita, giant grins lighting up their faces for the first time in days.</p><p>“Loki, didn’t your mom teach him never to tell a lady she stinks?”</p><p>“Some of the finer points of court life evade him,” Loki answers as lofty as she can.   </p><p>Thor shook his head, but according to the looks on the three faces before him told him all he needed to know. This was the most animated his sister had been since her lover’s death.</p><p>Thor heard the sigh again followed by the ripple of magic. He looked down to find his sister’s hair is soft and flowing. Her skin, now clear and glowing. Her clothes clean and fresh, but after a moment Thor realized the shirt was entirely too large for his sister’s lithe frame and guessed it must have belonged to her late Captain.</p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth Year 1947)</p><p>Steve blinked for a moment. He tried to remember the last clear memory he had. After a moment he knew it was the kiss he’d shared with Loki before going on the Valkyrie. Then the fight with Redskull came crashing through. </p><p>He looked around to try and figure out where he was. He vaguely remembered speaking to Loki on the radio. The plane… he remembered crashing it, then cold, icy cold. </p><p>Steve sat up slowly, he was surprised to find himself in clothes; shirt, pants, even shoes. The room looked mostly as it should. But something was off, before he can figure out it the door opened and a very tall young woman walked in. “Captain Rogers, you are awake. This is wonderful, I know you have questions and I promise they will be answered soon. But there is someone I think you need to see right away.”</p><p>“Where am I?”</p><p>“New York,” the brunette answered and she ushered him out of the door.</p><p>His eyes went wide when he saw the room he had been in, complete with a breeze blowing through the curtains in the window and the sounds of traffic, was fake. The room was set up on what looks like a sound stage. “What’s going on?” He demanded.</p><p>“Please, there is not much time now,” she walked a little faster through several halls, Steve noticed none of them had windows. </p><p>Several twists and turns later he hears the sound of a woman screaming in pain. He starts to bolt to try and help her but the woman walking with him is surprisingly strong. The grip on his arm stopped him dead. “I promise she is fine. She’s safe.”</p><p>“That doesn’t sound safe.”</p><p>“I know how this sounds but before you go rushing in there, you need to understand many things,” she pulled Steve to a room near by and shoved him into it. </p><p>Steve is so startled by that he doesn’t know how to react.</p><p>“Captain, I am Sif. Loki hoped you would remember my name.”</p><p>Steve goes stone still at the mention of his lover’s name. He thinks things through for a few seconds and does remember a Lady Sif. A female warrior that held her own with the likes of Loki’s older brother and his group of warriors. He nods.</p><p>“This hopefully will make things a little easier,” Sif drug a chair over and all but pushed Steve into it. “The scream you heard was Loki,” Sif is fast enough she’s able to grab Steve’s shoulders and shove him back into the chair. “Loki is safe. I swear it on my life.”</p><p>Steve glares but waits her out. He wants to tear this place apart to get to Loki if he’s screaming like that. He’s only tolerating it because he knows he needs intel.</p><p>“How do you last remember Loki?”</p><p>Steve’s brow scrunches in confusion, “I don’t understand.”</p><p>“How did Loki look the last time you were together?”</p><p>Steve’s face goes scarlet. He knows Sif has known Loki his entire life and likely knows about his ability to change. It’s could still be a little awkward. “Uh Loki was, um… a woman.”</p><p>Sif smiles at his hesitance, “And there was a reason for that. Did Loki ever tell you about Silphner?”</p><p>“His son?” Steve asks, but nods.</p><p>“Yes, he did tell you who carried Silphner, correct?”</p><p>Steve has to think for a moment, but while he does he hears the awful scream again and tries once more to get to Loki.</p><p>“Captain, this is important.”</p><p>“No, no I don’t think he did. But I’m guessing that it wasn’t the other person.”</p><p>“No, it was Loki. With her shifting abilities comes the ability to bear children. The last night you were together, Loki cast a spell to help conceive a child. She had intended to tell you when you finished the attack on Schmidt. But you never returned.” Sif stood and let Steve have a moment, absorb what she’d just told him.</p><p>“Why didn’t he,” Steve shook his head, “she tell me? Why, we talked…” his voice trailed off.</p><p>“Loki knew there was no way for you to do what you needed to do if you knew. She knew if she told you of the child, of her gift to you, you would be forced to choose between them and everyone Schmidt had intended on killing. She couldn’t do that. I promise, on my honor as a warrior, she has not been alone since your fall.”</p><p>“Can I see her, please?” Steve stood up and begged, his hands wrapping around the strong arms of the warrior.  </p><p>Sif nodded, “She wants you, but she does not know you have woken yet. We didn’t know if you would regain consciousness before the child came. Or at all.”</p><p>“How long was I dea-” Steve couldn’t say the word, “How long was I gone?”</p><p>“Just over a year, Jüton pregnancies are longer than Asgadian or Midgardian.”</p><p>Steve goes pale. A year. He’s lost a year of time with Loki, a year of watching his lover grow with their child. A child she knew about, a child she had planned but hadn’t told him about. </p><p>“She wanted to give you some peace and joy, after losing your shield brother,” Sif offered softly.</p><p>Steve nodded, he took a deep breath to try and calm down, but it was for nothing when he heard Loki’s high scream again. This time there was no way Sif could stop him from reaching his lover.</p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth Year 1945)</p><p>Frigga looked down at her child and her heart broke. The aura of misery that was wrapped around her youngest was awful. It was dark and mottled and looked as if it was chocking Loki, trying its best to smother her youngest.</p><p>She sat on the bed next to her little one and ran a soothing hand over the pale skin. “Oh ást, I am so sorry.” She had little time to brace herself before she had a lap full of sobbing mage.</p><p>She held tight and did what she could one handed to weave the magic that would lessen the malaise and the depression. It wasn’t much but it was something. She held on and let her child cry, murmuring softly, a soothing hand to rub a back. </p><p>When the tears finally died down, Frigga cast a light sleeping spell and laid Loki down on the bed. She gathered the dark locks and twisted them to the side and laid it down over Loki’s breast. Lastly she kissed the pale forehead and stood. </p><p>There was a man standing across the hallway, just to the side of an open door, “Ma’am?”</p><p>Frigga smiled, “You are one of the Captain’s men?”</p><p>Jones smiled, “Yes Ma’am. How is Loki?”</p><p>Before Frigga could answer, a voice barked, “Jones!”</p><p>“Sorry ma’am we are all really worried.”</p><p>“Are his men in there?” She asked. A nod was her answer. She smiled and walked into the room. Before anyone could speak Frigga held a hand up, saying, “I want to thank you for staying with my Loki during this. I also want to thank you for understanding Loki’s uniqueness. I know the prejudices that Loki has had to contend with over the centuries.” A craggy faced man looked around the room, Frigga rightly assumed this was the man in command of this group when all the eyes turned to him. </p><p> “Your Majesty, I’m Colonel Chester Phillips of Strategic Scientific Reserve. I wish this meeting could have happened under better circumstances.”</p><p>“As do I.”</p><p>“What can we do for Loki, ma’am?” </p><p>Frigga turned towards the young blond man that reminded her a bit of Fandral. “Please, all these ma’am, I am not at court. Frigga will do just fine.”</p><p>The man restated his question, with a bit of a change “What can we do for Loki, Queen Frigga?”</p><p>Frigga had to laugh.</p><p>“Ignore Farnsworth Frigga,” a stout man with a bazar looking mustache said, a little bit of a lopsided grin showing. “He has his own monarch, he’s the only one of us that does.”</p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth Year 1945)</p><p>Loki wanted the scream, wanted draw in every ounce of power she could and unleash it all at once, she wanted to weep. She did none of these things. She sat in the chair, alone in a room filled with nothing but static. She had all this power, all these amusing advances in Mirdgardian technology and she was helpless to save her Ástvinur. She was helpless to save the father of her child. </p><p>When she feels the fingers on her shoulder she looks up to blue eyes that look nothing like her loves. The red hair snapped Loki back to here. The here that she was now going to have to live with. </p><p>“We need to go.”</p><p>Loki can only nod, no voice can say what needs to be said. </p><p>Dum Dum helped Loki stand and walk towards the hangers where everyone had gathered. He didn’t really know what to do. He’s never dealt with a dame who’d just lost her husband, or a gent who’d lost his wife. But he sort of feels like he’s trying to deal with both right now. </p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth Year 1947)</p><p>Steve pushed into the room as Loki’s scream died down, only to be followed by harsh panting. The sound of the door hitting the wall next to him drew everyone’s attention. </p><p>Steve doesn’t see anyone but a sweat drenched Loki. Her face is pale and wracked with pain. Her hair is a mess having come loose from what looks like a once beautiful crowned braid. </p><p>Steve can’t move past her eyes though. Dark bruises show up as clearly as if she’d been in a fight a day ago. They are swollen with tears, while still looking sunken. Steve staggers forward, his hand already reaching out for the hand wrapped around the metal bars of the bed.</p><p>A soft anguished whisper, “Steven?”</p><p>Steve slowly traces Loki hollow cheek, “Hey.”</p><p>Loki wants to feel elated. They had found Steve, his serum had protected him, he was awake. But all Loki can feel right now is the pressure of their child trying very forcefully to join them in this world. So the second word she says in her Ástvinur presence was “FUCK!” as she lays back and screamed again. </p><p>This startled Steve and he grabbed her hand pulling it free from the bars warping under her fingers. He held them even as they nearly succeed in broke his own. When the screaming stoped and the harsh breathing returned Steve leans down and kisses Loki’s forehead. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you.”</p><p>Loki didn’t have the energy for it but she sobbed none the less. Steve was here, soon their child would be as well. “I want to hate you right now, I really do,” she whispered. </p><p>“If that’s what you need,” he couldn’t keep the tears from rolling down his face, he kissed her temple this time.</p><p>A voice to his right grabbed Steve’s attention, “Captain, Loki is very weak right now, I need you to get behind her and help her sit up.”</p><p>He finally noticed the two men and the woman in the room. They all are huge and look related. The men were off to the side, closer to Loki’s shoulders, while the woman is seated at the foot of the table. Between Loki’s legs.</p><p>Steve swallowed, looking down at his lover and tried to work out how best to comply without causing Loki more pain. </p><p>The younger of the two men, the one who had moved away when Steve had stumbled in, smiled, and helped Loki sit forward, Steve heard her breathing hitch and go ragged again. He scrambled to get behind her and was terrified at how light the body leaning against him seemed to be. He knew that a year of pregnancy should have made Loki heavier than this.</p><p>“Brother,” the blond says, “you have your Steven, will you try now?” Thor’s voice cracked when he pleaded, “Please try.”</p><p>Loki can only stay slumped against the broad chest of her returned love.</p><p>“Loki, I need you to focus, I can see the child,” there was a pause, “I see a foot.”</p><p>Steve went cold again, a breech baby wasn’t safe for anyone. “Can you turn it?” He asked. He’d heard about that once. </p><p>A head shake and tired voice says, “No, they are too close.”</p><p>Loki wasn’t sure she had the strength to fight anymore, she was so tired. She wanted nothing more than to let the darkness pushing at her vision to fill it and claim her. </p><p>She barely felt her mother move but she did feel the stinging slap on her cheek. It roused her enough to look into the worried eyes of her mother. Then the hand, still warmed from striking her, caressed the cheek.</p><p>“You must stay little one, please, you can’t leave us.”</p><p>“Yes Mother,” Loki tried to put some volume to her voice but couldn’t. </p><p>Steve set his head on Loki’s shoulder, now he was certain, Loki had been trying to find him. Just not on Earth, she had been waiting for their child. He didn’t know what to say. “Please Loki, please, be strong for a little while longer.”</p><p>She can’t argue, not with him, not now, “Ástvinur.”</p><p>Steve looked to the woman, who apparently was Loki’s mom and a queen. “Is there anything we can do?” Did he really wake up in time to lose the one person he cared about?</p><p>Frigga shook her head no. This is all up to Loki and the child.</p><p>Steve held Loki tight and started talking into her ear, telling her all the ways he wanted to spend their new found time together, all the things he wanted to show Loki and the baby. He kept talking over the screams of pain and agony as Frigga worked to delivery their baby. </p><p>Frigga was becoming concerned by the amount of blood flowing over her hands. And the fact that it was cold. She fears they may loose both of them when the child slips free and she heard one last agonizing scream. </p><p>Steve panicked when Loki went completely limp in his arms, “LOKI?!” </p><p>Thor rushed up and checked for a pulse he finds it, but only just.  He goes to the door where Sif is still waiting, “Find their healers!” he demands. </p><p>Sif’s eyes grow wide even as she turned and ran towards the room the men were waiting.  All of them jump at the sound of the door opening. “You are needed now!” All six shove past her.</p><p>The rest of the people in the room stand, all demanding news. But she has none to give. “Steven awoke and was there with Loki in the end. I have not heard the child-” The high pitched wail of a baby pierced the air and everyone let out a small sigh, even as they grimaced at the volume of the child.</p><p>Volstagg is the first to speak, a laugh falls out, “Well we know the wee one is related to Thor at least.” The Warriors laugh and slump. </p><p>Jones is confused, “Thought Loki said she was adopted,” in fact he was sure of it.</p><p>Volstagg nods, “He is, but he’s also been raised with Thor since the day he was brought home. That’s something that will make an impression.”</p><p>All the Commandos seem to understand. </p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth Year 1946)</p><p>“Mother, stop hovering,” Loki sighed from her chair. It was next to a window that over looked New York’s growing skyline. She would only agree to stay in New York. It was the only place that made any sense to her. The only place she could think to raise their child. The one place she might find pieces of Steve. </p><p>“You need to eat.”</p><p>“I’m not hunger,” she was never hungry.</p><p>Frigga took a deep breath and counted to five before giving in to the anger and fear that had strangled her for six months, “I do not care if you’re not hungry. You have lost weight. You should be much heavier. You are hurting your baby and yourself.”</p><p>“Steve’s baby.”</p><p>It was a statement said often. Loki never claimed the baby, only saying it was Steve’s. It terrified Frigga every time. Everyone had tried and failed to bring Loki out of her depression. Out of her guilt at not being able to save her Steve. </p><p>“Yes, Steve’s baby,” Frigga set the tray in Loki’s lap, then pinned her child to the chair, “Your baby, the only thing you have of his. And if you don’t want to lose it, you will eat.” Before she could say anything else, Frigga left.</p><p>In the main living area of the skyscraper Stark had moved them too after the war had ended, sat all of the Commandos. It was rare, as they still had battles to win, but each time they could, they came here. </p><p>“Still won’t eat?” Dumdum asked. </p><p>Frigga shook her head before flopping into a near by chair. Something she had never done before in her thousands of years. “She insists on being here, while distancing herself from the child.”</p><p>“Steve’s baby,” they all mimic.</p><p>Odin looked to his wife and to all the sons she’d adopted, even the new daughter. How could his Queen not take these mortals under her wing when they have done everything they could to help her support Loki? </p><p>He cursed himself for not stepping in as Loki had asked. If he had, she would not be heartsick and wasting away before his eyes. He had used the Bifrost more in the last six months than he had in the last six centuries, maybe even the last six thousand years. Quietly he slipped away to the room his child had shut herself away in. She demanded to come to this city but had not once ventured from the room she claimed as hers. It apparently faced a place called Brooklyn. The burrow her beloved had lived his entire life in, until he’d been thrust into glory. </p><p>Loki heard the door open, she hadn’t touched a bite so braced for another look of fear from her mother.</p><p>When a hand far heavier than her mother’s laid itself on her shoulder she can’t help but stiffen. Odin being here could mean nothing good. So she waited. </p><p>“They worry for you, sá litli.”</p><p>Loki’s lip trembled, Odin hasn’t called her that since she’d found out about her true parentage. </p><p>She felt him walk in front of her but she couldn’t look up, couldn’t see the disappointment she knew would be in that one cold blue eye. The kind of cold that had claimed her Steven. </p><p>“Sá litli, please, we all need you.” Odin knelt down into Loki’s line of sight, but even then he had to reach out and lift her chin. “I need you, I need you to want to live, even if it’s only for the babe. Because while you’re living for the babe you have time to heal, even just a little. And maybe you can learn to live just a bit for yourself again.”</p><p>Loki lets all her grief show, “I don’t know how anymore.”</p><p>Odin gathered Loki into his arms and cursed the day he first told Loki no. He vowed to the Norms that if Loki survives this, he would always be there, no matter what.</p><p>***</p><p>Midgard (Earth Year 1947)</p><p>Steve looked down at the tiny bundle in his arms. He can’t really see, everything is a blur with the tears flowing. Loki has fallen into a coma but Frigga, Thor and Odin, all swore she’d wake. She’d lost too much blood and her body needs to sleep while it and her magic work to heal her. Finally Steve blinked away the tears and the sight of his tiny baby cleared. </p><p>He looked to Frigga, “The baby’s really okay?”</p><p>A small smile showed, “Yes, a little small but still healthy.”</p><p>Steve looked over to Loki’s still form and swallowed. “Why didn’t Loki tell me? I know what Sif said, but why?”</p><p>Frigga picked up Loki’s hand, “This one,” she shook her head, “this one will be the death of me someday, I think. Loki already understood how hard it was going to be for you to sacrifice yourself to crash that plane. Doing so, knowing she was going to have your child, would only have hurt you more.”</p><p>“I told her, that night, the night we...” Steve tipped his chin toward the baby, “that if something happened that I wanted her to find someone else. To find someone who would love her the way she, he deserved.”</p><p>“Our world is not much better about accepting your relationship with my son than your own.  No one would dare say anything, he is the prince after all. But that does not help much when no one is willing to court the prince. Even if Loki changed to be as she is now, everyone would know that it was not his true face.”</p><p>“But it is, that face isn’t any different than when he has short hair and is two inches taller then me.”</p><p>Frigga knows now why Loki has been so devastated all these months. Steve is the only one who could ever love Loki the way Loki deserves. </p><p>***</p><p>Loki slowly woke. His upper eyelids felt like Thor had tied them to his hammer. He tried to shift but felt weak. The last time he’d felt like this was just after Sliph- Loki bolted up right. </p><p>THE BABY!  </p><p>He instantly regretted moving. </p><p>“Loki, lay back down.”</p><p>“Mother?”</p><p>“Yes, my child.”</p><p>“Where is the baby? Is it, are they?” He couldn’t ask if the child lived. </p><p>“With your beloved.”</p><p>“I dreamt I saw Steve.” Loki’s mind was still slow, still fogged. </p><p>“You did, he woke from his icy sleep. He was here to help you give birth to your child.”</p><p>“What are they?”</p><p>“Healthy.”</p><p>“Mother, I’m much too tired to play these games.”</p><p> “Your daughter is very healthy, and yes very pink.”</p><p>Loki’s body sagged with relief, his daughter had not taken on his Jötun visage. </p><p>The voice next to his ear startled him, “She has your eyes.”</p><p>Loki swallowed the saliva that had suddenly filled his mouth. He slowly turned his head to the left and found the blues eyes that had haunted his dreams for a year. He saw the pale skin that had tortured him for a year. He smelled the soft musk that he had missed for a year. He slowly rolled to his side and reached a shaking hand out to see if this was yet another nightmare wrapped up in the cloak of a dream.</p><p>When his finger pressed into warm flesh, he broke. He broke in a way he had not since he heard Thor’s voice all those miserable months ago.</p><p>He tried to scramble up and into Steves arms but he was still too tired and in too much pain, but Steve understood and came to him with a soft smile. “I missed you.”</p><p>Loki choked on a sob. Had the Norns left Steve’s mind awake while he was trapped?</p><p>“It’s been two weeks,” Steve ran a hand over Loki’s back, “I woke up and you went to sleep.” </p><p>Loki felt a cheek rubbed along his hair. He heard, “I’ve spent every minute with you and our daughter. She amazing, and thank you for giving her to me. When you’ve rested a little more we need to talk about what to call her.”</p><p>Loki shook his head,  “She’s yours to name.”</p><p>Steve watched as a metaphorical bucket of cold water was dumped over Frigga. He’d heard all the stories from the Commandos, Howard, Thor, Frigga, Sif, Fandral, Hogun,  Volstagg, even Odin. They had all told him how Loki had separated herself from the baby. </p><p>Steve moved his hand and shifted Loki until he could look into those green eyes, “Our daughter is ours to name, she is ours. Not mine, ours.” Steve shifted back and suddenly a small off-white blanket was  placed between them. “This is our daughter.”</p><p>Loki looked down at the pure white skin between them surrounded by a massive amount of black swirls, and a pair of green eyes stared back at him before they blinked. They opened again, blinked once more before the little face went soft, and a little hand appeared, reaching towards Loki. </p><p>“She knows your smell. After the first day we started laying her on your chest. She would cry until she could hear your heartbeat agin,” Steve explained, he nudged Loki onto his back, then the baby was pulled free from the blanket and laid on Loki’s shoulder, two little arms worked their way up and around what they could reach of his neck. Steve put the blanket over both of them. “She’ll only sleep for about an hour. Then she’ll wake up and want food.”</p><p>“She has so much hair,” Loki whispered.</p><p>“She has your hair, it’s just as soft as yours.”</p><p>“She doesn’t look like you,” Loki’s voice broke a little. That whole year, he’d spent all that time imagining a blond blue-eyed baby. Not to replace Steve, but to be a reminder, to be solace.</p><p>“No, she looks like the person I love the most in this world.”</p><p>Loki wanted to argue, but was tired again. The weight was a balm he didn’t know he needed. He drifted off to the sound of Steve’s voice, and the weight of their daughter.</p><p>Frigga let out a sigh of relief. It was slow but the darkness strangling Loki had started to recede. She smiled, kissing three temples before she left the room.</p>
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